My Winterfest dress

I got two new dresses!

Went shopping with my colleague after work yesterday. Our department has a semi-formal event next Saturday called Winterfest 2007. So we went out to look for a dress (for me) and accessories (for us both).

Well I got not one, but two dresses! Hehe, wasn't planning to buy two, but then it was really really cheap. 75% off loh. Will 对不起自己 if I didn't buy both.

One is a cocktail dress which I will wear to next week's event. It's black with a halter neckline and has a flower motif made of beads on one side. That one wasn't that cheap. It is 100% silk though.

The other one is more formal and sooooooo pretty. Makes me look taller and slimmer, too! It's a strapless gown with a corset. Erm, don't know how to describe the color. Light champagne? The nicest feature is around the lower waist, don't know how to describe also hehe. But it's nice lah. This one was super cheap, cheaper than the other one and looks much nicer. It fits me 'ngam ngam' (ie. just right) now so I cannot gain any more weight. Especially my tummy. Actually I should firm up my tummy some more so it will fit better. And then maybe I can actually breath while I'm wearing it.

So why am I not going to wear the 2nd dress if it's prettier? Well cause it looks way too formal. The event says 'semi-formal' so I don't want to overdress too much. It'd be quite weird if I was wearing a prom-ish dress and everybody else is wearing a cocktail dress. Plus I'd rather breath and eat during the night.

Can't wait for Winterfest liao! :D

New haircut

I went for a haircut today! Love it!

Went to a salon/spa center called Z Salon which is half a block away from work (which means one block away from home). My hairstylist was so nice and friendly. I didn't have a specific haircut in mind. All I told her was I don't like my hair now because it's so "flat".

Now it's not flat anymore!

Yeah I know that girls supposedly like to change their hairstyle after "emotionally distressing events". But just for the record, I've been planning this salon trip since last week. :P

I didn't make any drastic changes lah, the length is still the same, just trimmed the fringe a bit. But it's more layered and much more bouncy. Yay yay! *ninja turtle hopping around*

On another note, aren't there more Chinese in the States than Japanese? How come people keep yelling "konichiwa" instead of "ni hao ma"? And I look Japanese meh? (I'll take this as a compliment though hehe)

My Christmas Day

When I woke up this morning, I spent a minute lying on my bed, wondering if I dreamt about all that happened last night.

Then I realized I didn't. That it was real. So I went back to sleep.

When I woke up next, again I thought if it was all a dream.

Again I realized it wasn't. But this time I got out of bed.

I didn't do much today. I figured I deserve a break. A whole day of planning to do nothing and sticking with the plan. Instead of planning to do something and end up not doing anything anyway.

So I did a Desperate Housewives marathon. Season 3 is pretty good. Much better than Season 2, though I still think Season 1 beats them all. Did 9 episodes today, 2 more left to go.

The day went by pretty quickly, watching the series kept my mind off some things. It still hit home everytime I stopped in between episodes though. But I'm glad for the way I spent the day. If I didn't mourn at all, I would be so worried about myself.

I wrote myself a letter today. Just in case days or weeks or maybe months from now, when I begin to forget, I can remind myself why this is the way it should be. It's stuck on my fridge door now, and I've read it three times. Not that I have forgotten, but it keeps me calm.

I feel a constant chill in my apartment. I don't know if it's because it's colder outside today or it's just me. The feeling that I always get when I'm on a rollercoaster that's about to plunge straight down? How my heart is just about to leap out of my body? I felt like that all day. But my heart won't leap out and let me be. It insists on staying put, tugging at me.

But I'll be fine. I am fine. Fine in the sense that I need to feel sad now so that I can feel happy next time. So don't ask me if I'm fine or not. Because you already know what I'll say. What else can I say? What would you say if I said I wasn't fine? I wouldn't know how to answer myself, so I won't put you through it.

Tomorrow I'm going to the office, even though it's still my vacation. I can't write my report in my apartment, and I really want to finish it. So let tomorrow come. And I'll deal with myself one day at a time.

谢谢你

终于放了。

我还是懦弱的。 还好我们之中， 有一个肯走出第一步。

谢谢你肯诚实主动地告诉我，我一直不敢问的问题。

我没有恨， 也没有怨。 毕竟是我曾经的决定演变成现在的局面。

其实当初就不应该走回头路。

我等这一天， 等了一年。

这一天到了，不用再等它的来临，倒还有种解脱的感觉。

说我不难过是假的。

心在隐隐作痛。

会痛，是好的。

我们曾经拥有的，是值得好好伤心一番。

五年了，你是我成长的一部分。不是，你是我永远的一部分。

我们还会是很好的朋友。

毕竟现在的感觉，不就是走向知己了。

我知道，我们会比现在快乐。

谢谢你。

What I did on Christmas eve

I just wrote a bunch of stuff which I decided to delete. Sounded too self-pitying and depressing.

I have so many things swimming in my head now. I think I'll burst if I don't jot it down soon.

So half of my holidays is over now, and what have I done? Nada. I've done nothing that I said I'll be doing during my holidays. My stupid STUPID report is still not written and I haven't thought of my new year's resolutions yet.

But I have finished watching Season 3 of Grey's Anatomy! Well 10 episodes to be exact since Season 3 is still going on. It's incredibly good! Just strikes a chord in my heart everytime. So funny too.

And I had Peking duck on Friday. Mmm.. it was good. Cannot compare to the one I had in Beijing, but still pretty authentic. Had dimsum this afternoon too. :)

It's 9 pm now and I have been telling myself to start on the report since 2.30 pm. This is by far the worst one. Eeesh. The instructions document is 12 pages long. By the time I get to page 12, I have already forgotten what's on page 1. And then I have to reread the whole thing. And the (intentionally?) vague wording doesn't help.

I don't like writing reports and I don't like answering questions that have no clear-cut answers. On the bright side though, I do get A LOT OF satisfaction when I finish one. And I am learning a lot. And I'll be such a proficient report-writer by the time I am done. (Eight reports to write in total.) But still!

Ah, I'll finish the report tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm going to look for more shows to watch.

第一步

明天开始，放四天假。 星期一是圣诞节，星期二是自己请的假。

这四天我什么地方都不去了。

朋友问我，去拉斯韦加斯？我说飞机票太贵。去芝加哥？不要了。去附近滑雪骑马？也推了。

我想要在这几天，好好想一想。

最近脑子里感觉很乱。 好象一堆没有关连的思路，在十字路口搅乱了，所以一直团团转。

可能最近工作比较忙，而且回到家没多久就睡了，所以没有自己的空间。

我不开心吗？好像不是。

生活挺顺利的。和同事混熟了，生活有了规律，工作也在进展中。

可是内心有一个角落是空的。

我以为有个人可以帮我填，却没有。找别人帮我填，却是有心也填不了。

很多东西，我肯，也只要，自己一个人面对。为独这一个，我连第一步也踏不出。

趁这四天， 我想看清我有什么。为自己能有的感恩一下。

然后草拟一份地图，画出我想走的路。

画完后，看一眼记在心里。然后把它忘了，每一天不为将来，只为今天而活。

有太多东西我一直认为我需要。有太多时候我沉浸在自己的梦里。

可惜我想要的东西不能并存，但我很是执著的两个都要。结果两个都得不到。

我不想拖。这不是暧昧，这只是猜测。这没有对未来的幢景，这只有对未来的不肯定。

我不能再给时间，也不能再找借口。

因为我好像发现问题的根源了。

今天吃晚餐，得到一个 fortune cookie。

“The greatest risk is not taking one”

所以这四天里面，我要为明年的改变踏出第一步。

Another Dry Spell

Hmm.. having a dry spell on my blog.

It's been one crazy week. I have been busy all week, and this weekend I will be busy too!

Oh, I bought myself a birthday present. :D So happy, been wanting one since late October. I also got something for free this morning! This is such a good week. Heehee.

Ah, I will update when I have time.

Let 'someone' know first, so don't 'bitch' that I didn't update my blog. Though apparently I'm the one who's doing all the bitching hor? :P Just kidding.

Jots

I'm so happy today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To you, thanks sooooo much. That email really meant a lot to me. Even thought of printing it out and putting it on my desk so I could read it everyday. :) Can't believe you said that, after all those complaints about me not being a good friend. I'll be coming after your invitation next April! ;)

And there's a Happy Hour on my birthday next week! Yay yay. I'll NOT drink like how I did in St. Louis. What stays in St Louis, happens in St Louis. Nope, that's not a typo. It's our version. I was kinda forced to drink in St Louis, so can't count that against me anyway. :P

One of my good friends is coming to celebrate with me. Whoop dee doo. And if all our plans go the way they are supposed to, maybe TWO of my good friends will come to Louisville next year! Wah, that would be sooooooooo fun. Maybe I'll get an apartment close to them, then we can play mahjong during weekends. Hehehehe.

Feels good to be on the other side

I went for a recruiting event last night.

5 university seniors and 5 full-time employees. We went bowling first and then had dinner at a pretty fancy restaurant. I couldn't understand almost half of the menu. Picked fish in the end since it's usually a pretty safe choice. The tiramisu was heavenly though. Not as good as the one I had in St. Louis. But still delicious. I love all tiramisu. Mmmmmm.

It felt a bit strange at first. For the past 1.5 years I've been the one going through the interviews, meeting full-timers for dinner, digging for good questions to ask them. All that while being nervous but trying to smile, be outgoing and friendly at the same time.

And now I get the questions thrown back at me. "How long have you worked here?" "How do you like working here?" "How's the city like?" "How's the study program?" I don't even remember what I answered.

It was so fun! I mean meeting all these soon-to-be graduates and seeing them all excited (and nervous maybe). Makes me feel all excited too. I can't even imagine why I was nervous last time. Because I was definitely DEFINITELY not out to pick bones with any of the candidates. I doubt any of us was. Then again, it's understandable for them to be nervous. My future's not on the line anymore.

I hope whoever gets an offer will accept it. All of them seem really nice. Meanwhile, I'm gonna see if I can ask to join more recruiting events. :D

Exhausted!

I'm so exhausted!

I went for a trip to St Louis during the Thanksgiving holiday last week. Met up with a bunch of friends from Drake. All 15 of us. We rented a humongous 15-seater van. So fun to drive around in such a huge vehicle.

I had a lot of fun last Thursday to Sunday. We went to quite a number of places and ate A LOT of good food. I am NOT going to eat any more meat for the rest of the year.

Came back yesterday around 4 pm. Slept almost right after I got home and didn't wake up till this morning. Still felt very tired today though.

Will be getting photos from the others soon. Maybe I should write a travel journal for St Louis. Then again, I said I would for the last California trip and it's been a year.

An Encounter with Colonel Sanders

I met Colonel Sanders last Thursday! You know, the man behind (and in front of) every KFC.

Ok lah, not the real Colonel Sanders. I googled and found out that the real one passed away in 1980, even before I was born. So unless I can see ghosts...

But seriously ah, this guy looks EXACTLY like the KFC man.

See what I mean? (That drawing is a bit off-looking though.)

Hehe no lah, I didn't get a photo of him. Paiseh to ask. But the one I met looks just like the guy in the photo. Just a bit more friendly and grandfatherly looking. He was wearing the white suit, black bowtie, all white hair and beard and walking with a black cane! If I ever want to mimic someone famous, I'm going to go all out like that too.

I met him when I was walking around downtown towards the bus stop. He was strolling along, other people around him didn't even notice or care. I think I was the only 'suaku' around, stared a bit at first because I seriously wasn't expecting anything like this. I mean people have said sometimes we can see Muhammad Ali walking around downtown. But Colonel Sanders?

So far this is the closest I ever got to anything KFC-related in Kentucky. I've only seen one KFC restaurant since I got here. So enough with the jokes that the best thing to do in Louisville is eat KFC. Hmph.

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I think my vegetarian plan is not going as planned. But I don't care!

I've been eating quite a lot of good food recently. First went to a Chinese buffet with my colleague one day after grocery shopping. It's the typical Chinese buffet with quite a lot of seafood. They had prawn salad, which is one of my favorite ways of eating prawn I don't know why. Mmm.. and the cheese-covered mussels were pretty good too. I couldn't eat too much of it though because the cheese made me feel quite 'jelak'.

Then after that my colleague had a birthday party at her place. She and a few of her friends cooked. So good. The soup was especially nice. White carrot spare ribs soup. Mmmm.. just like the one my mum makes. I miss my mum's soups.

Friday we had a Thanksgiving potluck in the office. Everyone had to bring a dish. And since there's over 60 of us, you can imagine the amount of food we had. I don't normally fancy American food, but this was pretty good. Probably because my colleagues (or their wifes) are good cooks. I think dorm food is a bad way to introduce foreigners to American dishes.

This Sunday I had SiChuan food. Went with 2 friends I met at my colleague's birthday party. It was delicious. I wish it was spicier though, I was so afraid it was going to be super spicy but I ended up not having to drink water at all. But it was still good. Had a lot of leftovers too so I don't have to cook before Thanksgiving trip. :D

And today was the best of all. I had.......... Japanese food! Woohoo! And it was GOOD Japanese food too. Can fight with the restaurants in Chicago. I went out with one of the principals and 2 other colleagues. Actually I wasn't supposed to go, but one of them fell sick so I 'ganti'ed. Hehe so lucky for me.

The first dish was the best, called Fire Roll. They put the sushi on a small plate, which is placed on a bigger plate. Then they started a fire on the big plate, so the flames burn the sides of the small plate which crispifies the sides of the sushi. It was so pretty too, the flames were blue colored. I was going to take a photo with my new phone, but then realized I didn't bring my phone. Haih. What a waste. Next time I'm going back there to eat so I can take a photo. And also because it really is very very very very good loh.

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Lots of things happened since last Wednesday (which was the last time I blogged). Went for another happy hour. Watched Casino Royale. The movie is quite nice, I recommend it. I know Craig Owen doesn't look like the typical James Bond, but in the movie he was very good. Plus he has the bod too. Hehe.

Going to Saint Louis this Thursday for Thanksgiving break!

Best Meal Yet in Louisville

Hi dear colleague! I'm flattered that you are reading my blog. And I'm super curious to know who you are. Mind telling? :)

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I just had one of the best meals since I got to Louisville!

Last night my colleague invited me over to her place for dinner. Her parents-in-law were in town last weekend and they made a lot of yummy dishes. I mean tons.

It was sooooooooo good. We had 卢/炉牛肉 (I still can't figure out which 'lu3' is correct) which is beef cooked in a spice mixture specially brought over from China! We also had 红烧猪肉, pork with a layer of fat boiled with some herbs. And then there was cabbage spicy style and 豆腐干 (dried tofu).

My english translations don't do justice to the food. But rest assured it was delicious! Authentic home-cooked Chinese food! Can't get any more authentic than this.

The beef was most yum-yum. I kept eating and eating it, with all thoughts about me being a vegetarian thrown out the 1st floor window.

I wish I have photos to show. Wanted to take photos of the food but then I didn't have a camera or a camera phone with me. Speaking of phones, I just got my new phone today!! Yay!! Will write more about this next time. :)

After dinner we went to watch our department's softball tournament. We play every Tuesday, but for some reason it rained every Tuesday for the past few weeks. I think maybe God / Kwan Yin doesn't like softball.

You know hor? I think everybody looks younger when they are not wearing work clothes. Last time at Drake, we looked so much more serious in our 'interview attire'. Kinda weird at first to see each other dressed like that. As though seeing a different person. Now it's kinda the same way with seeing colleagues in casual dress.

Breakfast

Guess what's my favorite breakfast right now?

Siu long bao!!! (aka 小笼包 aka mini buns with pork/shrimp inside)

I've been trying out different types of breakfast for the past month.

Started out with bread and jam since it's the easiest and cheapest one. Bad idea. Especially since I don't like bread in the first place. Have to throw out half a loaf of bread each time because I can't finish it before the expiry date.

So because I don't want to waste food (and also because it's yucky), I switched to... waffles!

Waffles are quite nice. Put in the oven for about 8 minutes and they come out hot and crispy. It's not like the big A&W waffles, I'm talking bout the Eggo small waffles at Wal-mart. Add some butter and syrup on it.. yum.

Then after I found out about the humongo asian market, breakfast became... 水饺. I don't know what that's called in English, but it's good stuff. It's still not as good as...

siu long bao!!

Mmmmm.. I steam a few while I wash my face etc. Then when I'm done freshening up, it's ready to eat. Tiny buns with pork filling. You know how there's quite a lot of juice inside. When I bite into one, the juice will flow out and into my mouth. Wah.. so incredibly delicious. Mouth watering now just thinking about my breakfast tomorrow morning. Yum yum.

So far I can't think of any other breakfast that can top this one. Maybe someone will Fedex roti canai to me? *hopeful*

Howl to the Moon

After work today, my department went for Happy Hour in a bar called "Howl to the Moon". It's on a street called "Fourth Street Live!", which is where my office is at too. I've been wanting to post photos of the street but never got around to it. I will show it someday because it's solid proof that Louisville is not, I mean NOT a boring 'suaku' place ok?

Anyway this entry is not to prove that Louisville is all fun and hip, which I have to admit is not true also lah. Most people here are friendly and laidback, they are so helpful when they find out I'm new in the city. It also feels a lot safer than the major big cities. Granted with all this laidback-ness, there's no supermodel wannabes walking around, unlike Los Angeles. But I say: the less competition the better. Heehee. Just kidding lah. You think I very desperate now meh? :P

Back to Happy Hour. My first time to a bar since I came to Louisville. We were celebrating the end of the actuarial exams, well at least the people who took the exams were celebrating. Good thing mine's too far away (Feb '07) so I don't feel the urgency yet. There were a lot of people. The place was packed by 6-6.30 pm.

There were some pretty interesting things going on. They had "The World's Most Dangerous Piano Duel" starting around 6.45 pm. 2 people on the piano playing any song requested. Seriously any song, pop songs, country songs, Beatles, 80s' music, dirty made-up songs (I think it's made up)... it's amazing how they can remember the scores and the lyrics for all those songs. When there are 2 requested songs at the same time, people can bid up the price for the song they want. The song with the highest price wins.

Then there's the "Word of the Day". Basically the first person to submit the word (or phrase) of the day pays $1 and then one of the pianists writes it on a huge wall mirror. The next person who wants to change it must pay $2 and so on. Our group paid $7 to wish Happy Birthday to one of my colleagues. The pianist had to write it in Chinese too, he was copying what my colleague (different one) wrote on paper, so it was quite funny seeing him write it with the stroke sequence all wrong. But the end result was very good, almost exactly how it should look.

I didn't drink a lot tonight. Not like I do drink a lot anyway. :P It was nice to hang out with my colleagues. I'm starting to know my co-workers better, it takes me soooooo long to feel comfortable and be myself around people I barely know. I know for a fact that I'm a lot quieter and serious at work. Don't like!!

Mailed from Cambodia, Sent from the Heart

Today I got a postcard from my ex-roommate in Singapore.

Just a few short lines written on her trip to Cambodia.

But long enough to warm my heart, knowing that a friend faraway is thinking of me.

*hugs*

Thanks dear.

I

I feel weird.

Yesterday I learned that to understand my emotions, I should only use "emotional" words to express my feelings. I think "weird" is not an emotion. Neither is "blue" I don't think.

I feel a bit upset.

I don't know why exactly I'm upset. I can't think of anything that's going wrong in my life now. In fact, things are going great. Work is picking up, and one of the senior associates even complimented my work yesterday. I'm getting to know my colleagues more. What I planned I have managed to complete thus far. So I shouldn't be upset.

I know I have mood cycles, so maybe it's just at the lower end of the swing now. I know I go through mood swings every 2 weeks. I was very happy for the last 2 weeks. I am feeling down this week. It makes sense. Wait, is "down" an emotion?

I'm not angry though. I don't have the urge to yell at people, I just don't want to talk. Usually during these times, I look back and wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. All I want to do is take some "me" time, sit down somewhere and be by myself quietly. No instant messaging, no watching movies, no studying for FAP, nobody around me but strangers far away deep in their own world. And I sit there and I watch them go by and I think quietly to myself.

I think I'm falling sick. I feel cold and I already have a sore throat. I think falling sick is part of the reason I'm a bit upset. It certainly doesn't make me feel happy.

I will be fine after a while, maybe even when I wake up tomorrow. Or after I talk to my mum tonight. It always happens. People tell me I shouldn't be moody but this is who I am. After all, if I have episodes when I'm down, then I can really enjoy the periods when I'm esctatic right? What fun is it living life just feeling neutral?

I feel a bit upset now, but I know a few more blog entries from now, I'll be writing about something wondrously joyful. And then I will feel happy.

My Artistic Attempts

Remember that 4-month-long holiday I just had? Since the 2nd month, people have been asking me... aren't you bored at home? What do you do when you are not sleeping/eating/meeting friends? How come you are always too busy to meet up one?

The time has come to reveal what I've been secretly working on during my holiday.

I haven't been busy working on my own TV show like XiaXue.

No hush-hush trip to Korea for plastic surgery either. (Apparently that's the best place to change your face, but now why would I know that?)

But I have, I have been doing.......................... cross-stitch!

you: ??????!!! What the heck is cross-stitch?????!!!

me (meek tone): Erm, erm, it's kind of like embroidery but easier to pick up.

you: Oh.. so sewing lah? Chey.

Hehe, what? Expecting something more exciting izzit?

I picked up cross-stitch from my grandmother about 5 years ago. Did a few small projects then stopped after I went overseas. When I went home this time, I found one half-done so I decided to finish up the whole set. I bought the set of 4 in China (YH do you remember?). Managed to finish 3!

This is my favorite!

Isn't it cute? They are sitting on a tree stump looking at each other while the apples are falling out of the basket. Awwww... it's not very clear in the photo, but the girl is holding a bouquet of flowers and that's a patch on the boy's elbow.

My mum and sister says this one is nicer though.

I don't know what they just buried. In my story, they found a small blue bird (like the one stealing food from the boy's back pocket) who was injured. They tried to heal it but being pretend doctors they weren't very good. So the bird died and they gave it a proper burial with prayers and all.

This one is pretty cute too. What a way to pick up girls. There's supposed to be a quote at the bottom saying "the Lord must have brought us together" but since I'm not a Christian I didn't stitch it in.

The girl was speeding (on a tricycle!) so the traffic policeboy wrote her a ticket. Hehe, he has a gun some more. I'm guessing water pistol.

I finally framed them up today. They are now hanging in my apartment's "memory corner". It's where I put all my memories, e.g. photos, cards, misc memorabilia. Oh, and shoes too. To YY: Check out the right-most photo frame on the table. Look familiar? ;)

My Old Lady Hands

With the "privilege" of cooking my own meals in my own kitchen, comes the "luxury" of washing my own dishes.

Actually I'm ok with washing dishes, as long as they are not especially greasy. But what I cannot tahan is... how my dainty soft hands become OLD LADY hands after that! You know how your hands become a bit wrinkly after they have been soaked in water for a while? I don't like that!

Recently it always happens after I wash the dishes. No, my dishes are not especially dirty now. As a matter of fact, my dishes are quite clean after I finish eating ok? My dad used to joke that I don't have to wash my own plate after dinner because the plate looks cleaner than before. Drake people will know what I'm talking about hehe.

Anyway, I really don't like it when my hands become wrinkly. So ugly. Why does it become wrinkly in the first place? Who decided that when man's extremities (I notice toes do the same thing too) gets soaked in water, they will become wrinkly? Some kind of defense mechanism meh?

Hmm.. I don't know how to solve this wrinkly-hand problem. Cannot not wash dishes because I don't have a dishwasher. And anyway if I have a dishwasher I still want to wash some stuff. Save water you know. Maybe I should start wearing gloves, but then I'm very clumsy when I wear gloves. Might break a few plates.

Should get a very very good hand cream. Hehe, I know who to ask about hand creams! And it's a guy too.. hahaha.

A STAT 132-like report

Hmm.. I really don't know what to write. Promised myself I'll post new blog entries at least twice a week, but having a serious case of writer's block here. Actually I have some things to tell, but then I can't write it out because I don't want some people to read it.

Isn't it a bit ironic? I know some people have talked about it before. You blog because you want other people to know what's going on in your life, but then sooner or later you are forced to not blog about some stuff because you don't want certain people to know. So mah fan. Then in the end all you do is write NICE stuff only, or write bad stuff about people using codenames, which backfires in the end because people will start guessing who is that person and then make things worse when they guess wrongly.

Hehe, I just wrote a whole paragraph about nothing. Just a few more paragraphs about nothing and I'll be done. Wait, why am I making this into a chore like that stupid report I'm doing for FAP?

I finally finished the first module for the Fundamentals of Actuarial Practice (FAP) course. It's one of the actuarial science 'exams' that I need to pass to become a fully-qualified actuary (read: more money). It's actually not so much an exam, but rather like an online course with A LOT of offline readings and end of module exercises. The first module is ok, boring at times because it's ALL history. Learnt a lot though, like how the actuarial organization in London was established because there were too many insurance fraud incidents and insurance companies were sprouting left right and failing right left. I think.

And then I get through the end of the first module and read the instructions for the first exercise. After all those reading and quizzes, the exercise......... has nothing to do with the readings! Argh! Actually I don't know what can they put as an exercise that relates to the first module either. Maybe...

"Draw a timeline that shows the important events pertaining to the actuarial profession as mentioned in this module". Can die.

"Research a new and developing industry and explain in a report how actuarial expertise can benefit that industry." Eew. I don't like research.

"Provide a summary of the important contributions made by a significant person associated with the actuarial profession. Include a brief biography of that person as well". This is the worst. I know when I was in Grinnell taking Calculus, the other class got a similar assignment. Torturous or not? Instead of doing integration by parts, have to write paper.

Ah.. now I feel so much better about the exercise they gave us. If only I can just sit down long enough to finish it...

My Goals: Revisited

Guess what I found in my old blog? My lifetime goals as of March 2005!

In my lifetime, I want to...

• learn Russian, Spanish, Japanese and any other language that I can
• travel the world, especially Greece, Argentina, the Caribbean islands and France
• learn how to dance... properly
• have enough free time everyday
• find my soul-mates
• love someone with all my heart
• have someone who loves me with all his heart
• have a career but not let it rule my life (this cannot be a 9-to-5 job!)
• meet people from different places and different cultures
• have an interesting story to tell my grand-kids when I become a cool grandma :P

Haha cool grandma? Can't even imagine being a 'ma' yet. I've been thinking... I don't think I wanna have kids. It's a big responsibility you know. And I don't know if I can handle that, feels kinda scary. True, I think babies are absolutely adorable, at least the cute ones are adorable lah. If I have a baby, he will definitely be cute... because his parents are good-looking mah. :P Btw it has to be a 'he' since there can be only one girl in his dad's life. Hah!

Ok now everybody is going to think that I actually want to have a baby. NO NO NO.

I only think the baby part is fun, when I'm still calling the shots and he can't do much about it. But what about when he grows up?? (I can't believe I'm thinking so far ahead, but I am.) So not fun ok?? So much money to spend on him!! Demanding a car, cellphone, pocket money, computer... And what about when he starts breaking girls' hearts left and right because he's so good looking??? Or waiting up late at night because he hasn't come home yet?

Eesh, so many things to worry about. It's not like college... take a class for one week and if I don't like it I can just hand in a drop form at the office. Wish I can take care of a baby and then call it quits when it starts being unfun, but who's going to accept a drop form for a rebelling teenager???

Ah, I think I'd rather save up to travel around the world. Didn't get to visit Greece, Argentina or France yet, but I will. Haven't done much about my goals this past year and a half. Did I learn a new language? Nope. Did I learn to dance? Nope. Did I allow for enough free time everyday? Erm... not really.

Well since that last goal-setting session has been quite a failure, I've decided to... come up with new goals! This time I'm going to use SMART goals... heehee... something I learned in Management 110. *assumes lecturer's tone* Ahem, SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound. Wah I actually remembered! But I haven't finalized my goals yet, been thinking about them for these past 2 days. I'm planning to set them by this Friday so I can get started beginning November!

My Half-done Apartment

Ta dah!! Photos of my apartment!!

Actually I wasn't planning to post up photos of my apartment, since it's quite bare and u-g-l-y at the moment. But then, I promised someone I would and I'm not one to BACK OUT of a promise, unlike some people... hmph... if you say you'll call then you mighty well should right????

I digress. My apartment is pretty cosy (translate: not very big). It's a studio with some sort of walk-in closet that leads to the bathroom. The building was renovated a few years ago, so the apartment looks quite new, especially the kitchen! Almost all the other apartments I visited had pretty old-looking kitchens and bathrooms. Except for one which was simply gorgeous, floor-to-ceiling windows, huge living room & bedroom, and a balcony! But it was much more expensive and quite a bit further to walk. I think I wrote about this already, but never mind.

So here's my half-done apartment. The walls are completely bare now, except for my exercise workout poster. Hehe. Oh, and notice how everything is BROWN. So bland. Need to spice things up a bit, but why oh why does framed art cost so much? So frustrating.


The photo above was taken from the window corner. See my puppies? Hehe, I used to have 7 puppies on my bed, but I brought them home with me over summer and now I only have 2. So ironic right? When I had a small bed I had to squeeze with 7, now I have a big bed and only 2 puppies. The walk-in closet is at the far end (where the chair is), I have a study desk there as well but it's rarely used for studying. The bathroom is behind the wall with the workout poster. The kitchen is at the near right. You can't see it, but here it is:


Not very big hor? Told you it was a studio already mah. I want to get a potted plant to put in between the sink and stove. Apparently it's not good 'feng shui' to have the sink and stove next to each other. Something about water (sink) and fire (stove) clashing and bringing disharmony.

And here's my green bathroom! I love the bamboo shower curtain. Makes me feel like I'm outdoors, hehe.


Here's the view from my window. This is the south view though, had my apartment faced north, I would get a view of the Ohio river. I would have seen the fireworks during Thunder over Louisville without squeezing with the huge crowd near the river. :( Too bad there were only 2 options when I moved in, the other apartment was on the 3rd floor so it did not even have a view.

You can tell downtown Louisville doesn't have a lot of high rises. Plus the main chunk of them are to the north so I can't see them from my apartment anyway. It's quite pretty at night when the lights are up.

So my apartment quite bare hor? I want to buy sooooooo many things for my apartment, but then sometimes feel guilty because I'm supposed to be saving money. If I save now, then next time when I buy my own place I can get better furniture! But in the meantime, I'll be stuck with a not-so-pretty apartment. If I buy now, then maybe it won't fit my new place next time. Why is my world full of dilemmas???

My Life Part 2

I guess the previous blog didn't come out quite the way I wanted it to. When I wrote it, I didn't mean to say that I am bored here. No. It's just that on weekdays, I am so tired after work that all I want to do when I get home is slump on my couch and not do anything. By 9.30 I already feel like sleeping.

It's nice to live on my own. I can do whatever I want however I want whenever I want. Life is much slower-paced now compared to my university days. Sure I work 40 hours a week, but when I come home I'm done. There's no exams to study for, no assignments to complete, no papers to write. I don't have a 21-credit course load, no 20-hour-a-week internship, and no actuarial exams in the next 3 months. Now I can truly see how crazy that was.

When I get home, I have time to take care of myself. I can take my own sweet time to cook healthier meals, exercise (we'll see how long I can keep up the exercise part), and pamper myself with a nice long shower every night. I don't have to multitask. I don't have to rush. I don't have to stay up late to do something I don't like.

Yeah, I would like to know more people here. But that will come. I'm not worried. So you don't have to worry for me.

My Life As It Is (more than you ever want to know)

The alarm rings.

I hit the snooze button. 5 minutes later I hit it again. And again. And again...

Half an hour later I get out of bed.

I turn on the microwave to cook rice for the day. No rice cooker yet.

Meanwhile I get ready for work.

I head over to the kitchen to make breakfast and pack my lunch.

I sneak in a crossword puzzle during breakfast but only have time to do half.

Within an hour, the door to my apartment closes. (And the elves come out to mend my shoes. No wait, wrong story.)

Work is about 2 blocks away and takes me 5-10 minutes to walk depending on how high my heels are.

After checking my mail and reading the news, it's work, lunch, then more work.

9 hours later, the door to my apartment opens.

I cook dinner and the next day's lunch.

I watch one episode of a Chinese drama while eating dinner.

After taking a nice long shower, I start ticking off the items on my to-do list. (There's a to-do list because EVERYTIME I try to list things mentally, I will forget one important thing. And not remember it until the next day.)

Every other day I exercise.

Once a week I call my mum.

I try to blog as often as I can.

I read the books I borrowed from the library.

Sometimes, I catch up with a friend.

The crossword puzzle left half blank in the morning gets filled in as much as possible.

Every other Wednesday I do laundry (which takes up a good chunk of time with the ironing).

If I have extra time, I study for FAP but that's not happening much.

I get ready for bed.

When I feel sleepy, I snuggle underneath my super-comfy comforter with my puppies and dream the night away.

The alarm rings.

Receptionist-wannabe

Quick, guess how many hours I spent talking on the phone this past Sunday!
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Answer: eight hours!

I’ve never been on the phone for sooooo long in my entire life. Can be receptionist liao. It wasn’t all spent talking to the same person lah. Spent some time catching up with 5 friends, mostly the people at Drake. Btw, I have all Drake students grouped under the heading Drakulaeans (root word: Dracula :P) on my MSN list. No ‘Bulldogs’ for me.

Every time I move to a new place, I kind of lose contact with my close friends at the old place. Well, it’s not unusual to be less in contact with them I guess. But I wish I can talk to them more often. Everyone is so busy though, busy working, busy studying, busy ‘pak-toh’-ing… and the 12-hour time difference is seriously not helping matters.

I’ve been talking to some Drakulaeans quite a bit the last few weeks. Was nice to know what’s going on at Drake. I miss having potlucks and desserts at KY’s place. I miss the ‘parties’ over at Ross during the weekends, actually I kinda miss Ross, that was the bestest room/apartment I’ve ever had in my 5 years of dorm life. But of course my apartment now is better lah. :P And I miss the MAHJONG!!! Oh, I met someone who says he is interested in learning mahjong, but I don’t know if he was serious or not though.

Gonna call a few more people this week, but I doubt I’ll do the eight-hour stint again. It was nice to catch up with people, but that was really a lot of talking for one day!

Color Scheme for chez moi

I lurrve having my own apartment. It’s exhilarating to get to decide what furniture to buy, where to put it, and what personal touches to add. All by myself! Of course so much freedom must come at a price, and at the rate I’m going, I think I’ll be paying a pretty hefty price. But ah well, as I always say, a happy apartment is a happy me.

The big news today is… I’ve finally picked a color scheme for my apartment!! I spent so long trying to choose, there’s so many colors out there and each one has its own advantages. I mean do I want blue because it’s soothing, or green because it has “great healing powers”, yellow to invoke cheerfulness or red for la passion intense. And then they all have their negatives too, blue suppresses appetite (which is important because I have a 3-in-1 room that’s the dining room, bedroom and living room), green is just not my color, yellow makes people irritable and too much red can create aggression. You see my dilemma?

But finally, finally, finally, I have decided it’s going to be… *drum rolls* … white, red and black! Yeah I know I said too much red makes people aggressive, but since I’m such a demure and gentle person by nature, it wouldn’t be much harm right? :P Just kidding lah. Stop rolling your eyes please. And to clear all questions, this has nothing to do with wanting to create passion okay? It’s just a nice striking color that goes well with white and black. :P

I’ve been reading quite a lot of articles on interior decorating. Budget interior decorating to be exact. It says that I should start decorating one area at a time. So I’m gonna tackle my living room first! Well, actually more like my living corner since almost everything is in the same room. (I live in a studio.) Current plan is to get a slipcover for my loveseat, it’s brown at the moment and in my dreams it should look more like deep red. Can’t decide whether I should go for a lighter shade (maybe beige) and use red for the throw pillows instead, or stick to a deep red loveseat and light-colored pillows. How how? Which one is better?

Oh and I’m checking out posters too! I want to hang a sweet romantic-ish one above my bed. Found one I really like, but don’t know whether I should get it or not. It has 2 white cuddly teddy bears holding a velvet red heart together. Costs a lot to frame it up though and I don’t know if it will look good laminated. Here’s the poster, I think it looks very cute, and it fits my white, red and black scheme too! So should I frame, mount or just laminate it?

This is so fun! I think I'll be so obsessed about decorating that I won't talk about anything else for the next few blogs. Hehe.

My 2nd week in Louisville

Arrrgh!!!! I did a stupid thing this evening coming back from work. Why did I do it? I hope it doesn’t come back to bite me. Why couldn’t I just say No? Why? Why? Why? DANG IT! EeeeeeeeeeeeSshhhhhhhHHhh!!!! GggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRrrrrrrr!!!!!

Ok now that I’ve got it out of my system… moving on to the happier stuff…

My first official weekend in Louisville was quite nice (last weekend doesn’t count because I had to spend 2 whole days setting up my apartment). I went to a Vietnamese grocery store on Saturday. There are quite a lot of Asian grocery stores here, apparently one of them sells Malaysian stuff too! :D But I don’t know how to get there and I don’t have a car, so… don’t know when I’ll go to that store. But at least now I know where to get Chinese stuff though, not stuck with eating lettuce, cabbage and broccoli only. Phew! Oh btw, I’m becoming a vegetarian again after a 3-year hiatus heehee. Lacto-ovo vegetarian to be exact. Meaning I’ll eat eggs and drink milk. But I’ll eat seafood about once a week lah, Mummy’s orders. I had lobster pasta on Sunday. :D

Sunday I went on a tour of Louisville, too. I had an unofficial ‘tour guide’. Hehe. It was more fun than I expected. Went to Bardstown Road, which has those tiny mom-and-pop shops on both sides of the road. Quite unique stuff. Then after that we went to Mall St. Matthews. I tell you, it was so difficult to walk inside loh. Every single shop was on sale!! And the mall had all the shops I like too!! I think I have internal injuries now. My heart was fighting with my head the whole time I was there. Let’s go shopping! No, save money! You need that nice bag! No, you won’t use it! Luckily, my credit card came out unswiped.

Then, after that we went to the Waterfront Park right next to the Ohio River. I’m still waiting for the photos though. I’ll write about this next time so that I can post the photos together.

Last Friday/Saturday (I don’t remember when liao) was the Mid-Autumn Festival. (Digressing a bit here: why is it called the Midautumn festival ah? It’s not the middle of Autumn also. I think Autumn starts around September 26, so if it’s true, that means we have only one month plus worth’s of Autumn only!!! Which is so not true.) My colleague gave me a mooncake. Soooooooooo nice. Her friend brought it over from Chicago, so it’s not the cheapo yucky kind of mooncake. It is quite delicious loh, shuang1 huang2 (double eggyolk) some more. Yum yum. Still have half left. I don’t have that much appetite nowadays.

Louisville is pretty nice. I’ve only been here 2 weeks so I can’t say I know the place well yet. But so far I like it a lot. The people here are very friendly (I feel so unfriendly compared to them sometimes, cause I don’t know what to say). Of course there are some very weird people too. Some are nice but weird. Some are just plain weird. And it seems like there are quite a lot of events going on during the weekends too. I’m hoping some band I like will come here to hold a concert. I know Matchbox 20 came last year and Nickelback came here 2 years ago. So am hoping. But I doubt Wang Lee Hom will come here loh. *sigh*

Oh and you know what I found out. According to a report by some online journal whose name and link I completely forgot liao, Louisville is the NUMBER ONE place for families to relocate! Ok lah, I know it says for families. But then if it’s good for families, it shouldn’t be that bad for young adults guaaaaaaaa. At least should be safe right? And families doesn’t mean ‘with small kids’ only right? Should include those with young adult children right right?

Also, according to another report by another online journal whose name and link I also completely forgot liao, Nashville is the NUMBER ONE place for relocating singles!! Hmm… Atlanta, Austin, New York and Houston are in the top 5 too. Am thinking about going to Atlanta October next year when I come back from Canada. But it’s such a pain to keep moving some place where I don’t know anyone. Maybe I’ll just come back to Louisville. I like the city. We’ll see what happens next year.

Okay, going to start on my FAP modules now. Haven’t been studying since I took the exam in May. 5-month break! I haven’t had such a long break since that 9-month holiday right before I came to the States. Ah, I miss my holiday.

Even Shorter Update

Hmm.. haven't been updating in a LONG while. Quite a few things happened since my 2nd day at work. Hehe. Will add a new post tomorrow. I promise! ;)

Short Update

It's my 2nd day at work! Hmm, quite a lot of things happened since I last wrote, but I haven't got time now to write. Don't wanna use 'company resources' for 'excessive personal use', though how they quantify excessive is beyond me. Still waiting for the broadband company to set up my internet this Saturday. Then I can log on to MSN Messenger!! Hmm, haven't gone this long without signing in before.

Anyway, will write more when I get internet access in my apartment. Off to the library to get some movies and maybe a couple of books. I just watched Pride and Prejudice again last night. Yes, I know I just watched it only, but it's very nice mah. And I didn't have anything else to watch besides Aladdin. Haha, guess who sent me that? Should have kept World Without Thieves and deleted Aladdin. Higher repeat value. Darn. So now I want to read the book again. I think I've read it a few times but can't really remember the story liao. Sense and Sensibility I totally cannot recall. Maybe I'll get both. Hope they will give me a library card!

I'm here!

It took me nearly 30 hours and 2 stopovers, but I've finally arrived at Louisville, Kentucky!!!

The trip went well. I slept through the entire flight from KL to Seoul because it started at 1 am. The flight from Seoul to Atlanta was soooo long, good thing noone sat next to me so I could stretch out. There was a Korean guy sitting 2 seats away. He was real helpful, picked the better meal choices for me. The Korean food was quite good! Flying from Atlanta to Louisville was awful though. The plane wasn't that small, but it felt sooooo cramped. The worst hour of my whole trip.

I got to my hotel late evening yesterday. This morning I went apartment hunting! A lady from Apartment Locator Services came to pick me up. She is sooooooooooooo helpful! She did almost everything for me, find out what apartments are available, what features are available in each, set up appointments with all of them, drive me to every single one, ask questions that I forgot to ask, and so patient!! What's more, the service is FREE!! Unbelievable huh? I'm going to recommend them to anyone who's coming to Louisville, i.e. noone.

So we went to 4 apartment buildings. I didn't really know how to check them out actually, and once I got there, I forgot half the things I wanted to ask. Went well though, covered all the basic stuff (I think :P) and I applied for the last one. I just got a call back from the apartment manager half an hour ago and it's been approved!!! Woohoo!! Going back there tomorrow to sign the lease and pick up my keys.

The studio apartment is not very big, about 400 plus square feet. But it's so close to work and everything else! I'm going to walk to work everyday, it's only 2-3 blocks away. :D And it has the nicest kitchen and bathroom among the 4. All utilities paid, too. Love it! Nice and cosy. Don't need to buy so much furniture too hehe. My friend keeps telling me that I only need a bed, but a bare apartment is just depressing to me.

Tomorrow I'm going furniture hunting. Hope that goes as well as today's hunt! Took me 4 hours to get an apartment. :D Got done around 1.30 pm. Exhausting though. It's only 5.30 pm now but I'm going to sleep. Jet lag sucks. I woke up at 3 am today and couldn't go back to sleep. And I only got 6 hours of sleep. Wonder how long it's going to take to fix my clock. Ugh!

So sleepy..

I'm sooooo tired today!

Woke up at 6.15 am to teman my sister to the hospital. 6.15 am!!! I've only woken up this early three times this holiday. And that includes the first day when I woke up at 5 am because of jet lag. It's only 11.30 pm now but I'm already feeling very sleepy. Usually I sleep around 1-3 am and wake up at 11 am. Can't sleep yet though because I just took a shower. Beanie says it's not good to sleep with damp hair so have to tahan a bit longer. Argh!

4 more days before my flight! So fast! I still have a lot of things to prepare. Gonna buy some food stuff tomorrow, cannot forget 'bak kut teh' packets and curry paste. Hope they don't confiscate at customs. Hmm, I think that's the only thing I have left to buy. Already packed up one suitcase (22.5 kg, ngam ngam!). But there's still a lot of stuff I haven't packed yet. Don't know if they can fit into one suitcase or not. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I'm going to Genting this Saturday. Sort of like a going away trip. :D Can take it as a transition too. Apparently it was very cold yesterday (already?) up North, so I go from Kajang -> very hot, to Genting -> cool (I hope), and then finally Louisville -> cold. I didn't know I could plan so well. :) Ah who am I kidding? I'm the only person I know who has missed a flight because I went to the airport ONE DAY LATE.

Oh I went to watch The Banquet yesterday with my whole family. I thought it was okay, very very slow though. A few times I........

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(gone to sleep with semi-damp hair, will write more when I'm more awake)

Packing Woes

Just started packing for my trip back to the States and the same thing that hits me every time I pack has struck yet again......

I have too much stuff!

I'm bringing back two big bags. Add to that another 3 huge boxes that are already in US. 3 years ago I came to the States with 2 bags, and transferred to Drake with 2 bags a year later. Doing good so far. Then when I graduated from Drake I have 5! Hmm.. something must have went awry those 2 years.

Specifically I have too many clothes (3 boxes worth to be exact). Half of them I rarely wear and another 10% I haven't worn in a year. What is very frustrating is when I pack, I still bring that 10% along because what IF one fine day I need to wear it and I didn't bring it along? Naturally this scenario never happens because that 10% stays unworn. Dilemma here: unworn because it's too uncomfortable/ small/ big/ slutty-like/ aunty-like/ has weird color, but can't bear to throw it away because it's still in very good condition.

Which is why my wardrobe is full of clothes, and yet I can still feel that I have nothing to wear. Argh! Maybe I should take a leave out of the little brown dress project. This woman actually wore the same brown dress everyday for a year. She hasn't went shopping for clothes for almost 2 years. I'm so impressed. But I don't think I want to do that.

So instead from today until next July, I will...

• not buy any clothes or accessories, unless it's something I don't have and I need it for work, e.g. a good bag. Work is the key word here.
• make a shopping list before I go grocery shopping and STICK to it
• browse through catalogs only ONCE and recycle immediately

My goal for next July when I move once again: My life's possessions have to fit in 5 boxes or less.

什么感动？

几个月前， 有人问我：你做过什么事让我最感动？

我当时怔了一下， 想不出。 想不出你什么时候做了轰天动地的行为， 或有罗曼蒂克的表达， 亦或是感人肺腑的故事。 是啊，都这么久了，我们早就拿初识的火花来换取彼此深刻的了解。

我想不到答案，就含糊地带过： 让我感动的事很多，没有分哪一个最令我感动。

怎料朋友不放弃， 继续问：那最近呢？ 最近他做过什么感人的事？

我干脆说： 不记得了，应该没什么事吧。

嗯，我们习惯了彼此的存在， 似乎不再花心思给对方一个惊喜。当时有点想念我们刚开始时， 那份甜蜜又带点神秘的感觉。心里抱怨着， 你把我当成一个自然会在你身边的人。

过了几天，我们和你家人在外面吃晚餐。你帮我叫了食物，又故意不告诉我叫了什么。 一看， 原来是姜葱鹿肉饭。 突然很感动， 开心了一晚。

原来让我感动的事，你一直在做。 何谓感动？就是当我发现你是真的有听我说话。 早上你驾着车时我说想吃姜葱鹿肉饭， 到了晚上连我自己都忘了。 没想到一句随口的话你居然还记得。

其实我不需要你做什么特别的惊喜， 你为我做了很多。 我无理取闹， 你还能心平气和的讨我欢心； 当你知道我想要什么却又不敢说时， 你就拿到我手里了。 你去公司旅行我跟你赌气， 你答应带我去玩。 你周末去上班我困在你家，临走前特地跑到附近买午餐给我， 还买我最爱的虾面。 朋友说我为你牺牲很多，其实谁为谁牺牲最多，谁能说准呢？

假如朋友再问我， 我要告诉他： 最令我感动的事， 是我们在一起五年后， 你还是一样疼我，宠我，迁就我。 你见过我最坏的一面，却能拿我的怪癖当可爱， 也可以包容我的缺点。 没有以前你偷偷跑来新加坡找我的那种感动， 现在我想我有的是， 一种细水长流的感动。

Girl Gathering!

Last night I met up with some of my high school friends for dinner. Nothing big, just catching up with each other. Since I'm leaving in 2 weeks, I'm finally feeling the pressure to do all the things I've been planning to do since the start of the holiday. Such as meet up with people that I haven't met yet. 2 of them I met only once since I came back, one I haven't been in contact with since 3 years ago!

Half the animal gang @ Chef Long, September 12, 2006

It was very nice to see them again, it really does feel like we picked up where we left off. Ok, I know everybody says that la, which makes it the queen bee of all clichés, but it's so true! Except now instead of school and guys, we talk about work, our experiences studying abroad and... oh wait, we still do talk about guys.

Everybody is so busy now (except me but not for long). My high school friends, aka the animal & vegetable gang (don't ask), are scattered everywhere liao. Let's see... Keong Yu Zai is working in Australia and I think will/is a PR, Piggy studying in Sabah, Gorilla working in Sabah, Fei Zhao Yu (African Fish) in Penang if I'm not wrong, and the rest all busy working. Hmm, so far no one reached the get-married-and-have-kids stage yet. And it will NOT BE ME first ok?

When we were 17, Piggy did this fortune telling thing for all of us. Apparently I was supposed to get married at 18. Naturally everybody has been "looking forward" to the supposed wedding la. Which did NOT happen! Hah! But until now people still mention it. Like "eh? Weren't you going to get married at 18?" Not within the next 5 years, thank you. Unless Daniel Wu or Wang LeeHom comes up with the idea lah. Hehe.

Tomorrow we'll be having another gathering. Nothing like someone's upcoming departure as an incentive to get people out!

Aveyond

Probably everyone in Drake knows this, but I play computer games ALL THE TIME. But not Counter Strike or Starcraft that kind of games la. I can't play games like Starcraft. This is what happens when I play Starcraft: start building things, buildings must be arranged neatly and in rows, otherwise tear down and rebuild. Create army. Army usually consists of my favorite characters (in Warcraft this was the ranger elves), ability of character sometimes considered. Send army to enemy base. Whole army will attack ONE thing at a time until (a) that thing dies or (b) whole army gets wiped out. Retreat if losing is not an option. If enemy attacks my base without warning, panic. I run out of money pretty fast cause I can't micromanage.

Which is why I love playing RPG games! No need strategy, hah! It's so fun to walk around fulfilling quests, especially if the quests need you to think a bit. Of course if think too much then it's very frustrating too, like Monkey Island. But once you figure out how to solve the puzzle, makes you feel like a genius. :D It's kind of hard to find cute RPG games now, but I found a few this holiday.

Introducing...... my favorite game this holiday...... AVEYOND!!

This game is soooooooooo cute!! And it has a very good storyline too, if you don't believe me, check out the awards this game has won. The story gets non-linear pretty quickly so you have to do a lot of exploring. I like it better this way because it's not just a visit-city-A-then-forest-B-then-island-C kind of adventure. More like pick whichever one and good luck to you.

And the game has so so so so so many quests. Very interesting and funny quests too. The quests overlap ALOT. Meaning you might need to solve quest B and C to finish quest A, but then you need to trigger quest D and get an item related to quest E to solve B, bla bla bla. Can get very complicated. Plus even if you have visited a village and talked to a certain person before without anything happening, once you get further into the game you might talk to the same person again and suddenly he has a quest for you. Get the point of the game being complicated yet?

The game is in 2D so graphics are nothing to shout about. Actually I prefer it this way because my computer's graphics card is terrible. And the game looks very cute. I think no guy will want to play this game anymore after I keep stressing that it's cute. But it's very worth playing. Kept my mind sharp (hehe) during this holiday. And something to occupy me since I can't play Diablo II at Drake. *sob* Need to find more games like this!

Beautiful Lanjut memories

During my childhood, my family often went on vacations. One of our favorite places was Lanjut Golden Beach Resort, on the east coast near the Johor-Pahang border. I don't even remember when the place became our annual holiday destination. The only things I remember from that first trip was that my family went with my grandparents, and I got woken up super early to see the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen.

That first trip gave way to a lot more. Sometimes we went with my uncles' families (I have a lot of uncles), sometimes with my dad's friends' families, and sometimes a mix of both. Once we even had a 20-car entourage. To prevent people from getting lost, all the cars were numbered from 1 to 20 and must line up according to their number. Imagine how that looked on the highway. But no matter who else came along, there was one family who always joined us. My eldest uncle (dad's side) and his family. Which means there were 4 noisy kids who ran around uncontrolled: my brother, 2 cousins (boys) and me. Baby sis came into the picture quite late.

Those Lanjut trips were the highlights of our school years. The night before the trip, my brother and I were often too excited to sleep. Which is good because we slept through most of the long journey the next day. The minute we reached the resort, the 4 of us will rush to the bicycle shack to rent our bikes, before our parents even checked in. Got to reserve the best bike mah.

Cycling was our main way of getting around. I think I cycled more than I walked. We cycled EVERYWHERE. We cycled to the restaurant to meet our parents during lunch and dinner. We cycled to the swimming pool in our swimsuits. We cycled to the golf course to see if we could spy our dads playing golf. We cycled to the roti canai shop for breakfast. We cycled on paved roads. On pedestrian walkways. On grass (with extreme difficulty). We even tried to cycle on sand, where we promptly fell down and scraped our knees.

When the resort built more walkways, it got confusing when describing where to meet up. We also wanted noone else to understand where we were going. So we drew a map of all the pedestrian walkways and named each 'road'. Our road names were illustrative, if not creative. There was Bumpy Road, Jungle Road, Hotel Road, and Sharp Turn Road.

As we grew up, the resort grew, too. Where there were only wooden chalets at first, the club added a hotel and several concrete bungalows (lovingly named honeymoon suites). A bigger swimming pool was built. People could go jetskiing or kayaking. But the addition that was the most fun was woodball! It's a Taiwanese game which is a bit like golf except you use a mallet and a wood ball (hence the name). We had no idea how to play, so as usual, made up our own rules. At first noone else played, so we could yell at each other across the course or hit the ball however we wanted without disturbing others.

Among all the holidays we had in Lanjut, one trip stands out from the rest. That time, my parents brought my brother, my sister, me and 4 of my cousins. SEVEN children! Kinda like the Von Trapp family in the Sound of Music. Everytime we went for lunch or dinner, someone will surely stare and then ask my mum if we were all her children. I think for fun my mum did say yes a few times. It was a riot. 3 boys, 4 girls and only 2 adults. Plus my sister was still a toddler so my mum had to take care of her and had less time checking on us.

On that trip, my cousin's slipper went missing. We searched for it high and low before the 3 boys finally admitted that they buried it. The best part was they couldn't remember where they buried it, so my parents had to drive us to town to get her a pair of slippers. All the kids (minus my sister) slept in the huge living room (we stayed in the honeymoon suite) with the girls' and boys' territories marked out. 2 of my cousins (one my dad's side one my mum's) apparently did not like each other at all. And yet when the rest of us woke up the next morning, one of them had somehow rolled/climbed over my brother and both were hugging each other in their sleep. We came up with nicknames too, using our initials. There was Yoyo Lion, Yoyo Mouse, Telur Jagung, Telur Langsat, and my favorite... Tok tok ah Q. I was Suzy Cat. :P

As the years went by, we visited Lanjut less and less. The last time I went back I was still in high school. Then I went to Singapore and to the States and somehow we stopped visiting. I wonder how it looks like now. Maybe everything's different from how it used to be when I was a child. Or maybe nothing's changed. But I think even if I visited today, it wouldn't feel the same. No matter how the place looks like now, at least I've changed. Some things I believe are better left as good old memories. Memories to share with my family and relatives. To be fondly remembered every once in a while. Untainted by any attempts to relive them.

It's Official!

Finally confirmed. I'm flying to Louisville on 26th September! Work starts on 2nd October, which means I have about 5 days to...

• look for an apartment
• furnish my apartment
• open bank account
• figure out how to get to work
• find out how to get to Wal-mart & Target
• etc...........

This is crazy, but I'm so excited!!!!! My first apartment, to be decorated however I want! Or rather however my bank account wants. So fun so fun, too bad there's no IKEA nearby though. I was planning to get most of my stuff from IKEA since it's cheap and nice. But the closest one is around Chicago and shipping costs a bomb. We'll see what happens. Worse comes to worse, I'll rent furniture. I found a furniture rental company that has pretty nice-looking stuff. Of course, it costs a bomb, too.

I have exactly 3 more weeks in Malaysia. *sigh* It will be a 4-month long holiday, which is 2 months longer than I originally expected, but still... I wouldn't mind having more. It's sooooooooo nice to stay at home. People keep asking me what I do at home, well...

I wake up around 10.30 am, check my e-mail and IM some friends. Sometimes I teach tuition when my mum's busy, or cook dinner, or do housework when I'm feeling guilty for being lazy. I'm finishing up my craft projects from 3 years ago (more on this later) and still have one more left. Play lots of computer games, influencing my sis who's sitting for UPSR now, one of my mum's tuition kids and my bro along the way. Occasionally surf online to check out apartments in Louisville. At night watch Korean drama or whatever my family's watching. Sometimes I go out with my mum on errands.

So you see, nothing exciting. I rarely go out during weekdays since most of my friends are working already and I live too far away for last minute mamak calls at night. Surprisingly there are a lot of things to do at home or with my family. Weekends I go to Taman Tun and that's a different story and I don't want to tell. :P

My holiday may not be exciting, but I'm loving every minute of it. I won't get another one like this for a long long time.

Pride and Prejudice

I watched Pride and Prejudice last night. It turned out to be nicer than I expected. Very sweet very touching. Half the time I couldn't catch what they were saying though. And there were no subtitles to help me. But still it was worth watching. I'll probably watch it again some day when I have nothing else to do.

Romantic movies that have happy endings are the best. Like Lake House. Makes me feel all lovey dovey. =) But seriously, it feels very nice to see people ending up together and staying together despite it all. In this fickle world, it's not easy to find the person you love, and harder to keep the relationship strong.

Back to Pride and Prejudice. A lot of people are gonna disagree with me, but IMHO, Mr. Darcy was such an ideal guy. (Note: My ideal guy has imperfections so that I can find him in real life.) Sure he looked pretty stand-offish at first, but a 'man of few words' is better than a guy who cannot shut up. Isn't it? Besides if he finds it difficult to talk to people he doesn't know well, that means he cannot flirt with other gals! Score one.

And then he was brave enough to say the 3 magic words. Maybe last time it was normal to 'express your love so ardently', so to speak. But still. I don't know how easy is it for a guy to say that now lah, but it means a lot. At least it means a lot when you say it sincerely. Then again, if you have only known the guy for a short while, would you believe him if he said he loved you? Do you believe in love at first sight? Hmm.. dilemma.

The best thing was, after he got rejected by Elizabeth's very uncivil reply, he didn't give up. He still did things for her, cleared up misunderstandings... basically made her feel "gam dong" (touched) until she accepted him. How many people can do that?? How many people will still try after being rejected? I'm not counting the guy who is trying to get the girl and is not sure whether she likes him or not. I'm talking about the guy who is still trying after the girl says she'll rather die than be with him.

I know some people will just forget about it straight away, well if you really liked the girl, you wouldn't just give up like that would you? But then, this doesn't apply to every case lah. Sometimes it's better to let go. If she is in love with another person, then I guess you can't keep bugging her. She wouldn't be happy being with you that way. Then again, you might obsess about the 'what-if's in the future if you didn't try now.

Hmm.. this is quite a dilemma. But Mr. Darcy is still pretty appealing! And Keira Knightley is so hot even when absolutely drenched.

Half-deaf

I am half-deaf! Well almost.

There's a constant ringing sound in my left ear ever since I stepped out of the shower last Friday. My left ear's not really helping in the hearing department, either. It's as though I have a low quality earplug, so I can sort-of hear out of my left ear, but the sounds are muffled. *sigh*

Over the weekend, I kept "har? har?"-ing people. So not fun. Sometimes when I yawn, my ears pop. Like how ears pop when there's water in them after you swim. Happened quite a few times. Everytime they pop, I get so hopeful thinking finally can hear properly liao. But nope, get stuck again. Haih.

So I went to the doctor this morning. The Putrajaya clinic is quite nice, didn't have to wait too long. And they have a very nice system of handling patients too. Parking is a big problem though. Anyway, I got some ear drops so hopefully my ears will clear out within a week.

Tagged

Got tagged by YanHan. Actually I have another one of these to do since a long long time ago. Supposed to list 5 weird habits I have that nobody knows about, but so far I can only think of 3. Darn. Probably I don't even realize the odd stuff I do. So if you happen to know some of my weird antics, leave me a comment yah!

FAVORITE
COLOR: Purple & silver. Though judging from the clothes I wear.. black.
FOOD: Har mein (spicy prawn noodles)! And kangkung belacan. Both can NEVER go wrong.
MOVIE: Now & Then. About four childhood girl friends. Simple but touching.
SPORT: I don't play anything. Unfortunately.
DAY OF THE WEEK: Wednesday. No idea why. Maybe because the week is half done. I like things half done. Like eggs. And steak.
ICE CREAM: Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie. Mmmmm.... yum yum.
TV SHOWS: Currently it's Grey's Anatomy.

CURRENT
MOOD: Lazy & don't feel like doing anything. Which has been my mood for the last 3 months.
TASTE: ???
CLOTHES: White t-shirt and shorts. I'm at home mah.
DESKTOP: No desktop. Have a laptop named "slowpoke" which oddly became faster since I got home. I can prove it.
TOENAIL COLOR: Light pinkish. No nail polish on.
TIME: 2.43 pm.
ANNOYANCE: That I cannot buy plane ticket yet because I don't know when I'm starting work.
THOUGHTS: Need a cute RPG game! Need a cute RPG game!

FIRST
BEST FRIEND: The first one I can remember is in Standard 2. Hooi Ying. =)
CRUSH: Hehe.. Standard 3. I'm not saying who.
MOVIE: No idea. Sesame Street, Dumbo, Bambi.. probably one of those.
LIE: Who remembers this la?
MUSIC: Must be those kiddy songs.

LAST
CIGARETTE: Never had, never will.
DRINK: Oh, this is soooo long ago liao. Sometime in the last few weeks at Drake. While playing the SM game. Heehee. (SM is somebody's name ok.. don't simply think)
CAR RIDE: On Monday to pick up my sister. Got comment from sister's friend that I look like "aunty". :'(
CRUSH: For my own safety, I'm not saying who either. =P
PHONE CALL: Last night. Before sleeping.
CD PLAYED: Music cd? Very very very long ago. Don't remember.

HAVE YOU EVER

DATED ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS? Nope!

BROKEN THE LAW? If you mean traffic-related laws (such as speeding), then lots of times.

BEEN ARRESTED? Nope. One time we were parked in a residential area around 1 am, just talking in the car, then 2 policemen came and asked for our ICs. After that they asked us to go back home. That's about as close as I ever got to the police.

SKINNY DIPPED? Haha, I doubt anybody wants me to do that.

KISSED SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW? Nope. Although once on the last day of church camp (I'm not a Christian though), we had a New Year's Eve celebration. Everyone was singing and hugging their friends. Including my cousin and I. Then this guy came over and without any warning at all kissed our hands (just like those gentlemen in British movies). Then after that just went back to his group. Didn't even introduce himself. My cousin and I were stunned for a while.

If you know any of my weird habits (or you think it's weird), leave me a comment yah!

Snapshots of My Life @ Drake

2 years ago, 8 new Malaysian students went to Drake. Happy, young, hopeful and innocent (hehe..).


We started holding doors for people behind us and saying 'how are you?' to everyone that passes by. Breakfast was unanimously agreed as the most satisfying on-campus meal. Anywhere that requires more than 15 minutes walk is "too far", in winter anywhere further than 5 mins is a pain. Wal-mart became THE place to shop for anything and everything. Eating Chinese food was a once-a-week luxury.

But we also did some Malaysian stuff.

Chinese New Year potluck! Everybody had to cook.. and wear something red. If you don't and choose to wear some other color (like blue) instead, then prepare to "keng sou" "gu-wak-zai" style. Although I must say holding a styrofoam bowl really spoils the "dai lou" image.

DASS (Drake Actuarial Students Society) Malaysian Nite! We got talked into cooking M'sian food for the actuarial students at Drake. It was a great chance to show the Americans & other international students why we keep gushing about M'sian food. But don't think they liked all of it. The 3-layer pork (yummy! full of fats!) might have been too much for some of them.

Malaysian Nite! By Jan '06, we finally had enough M'sians at Drake to have our very own special night. Self-funded, it was the night of the Malaysians, by the Malaysians, and for the Malaysians. The night was a blast!

And of course.. mahjong! Pretty much learned all my mahjong tricks in the States. I love this game! Miss playing 3-ka with self-proclaimed God of Gambler and my roommie.

During holidays we went sightseeing. For some reason every Thanksgiving (late November) I keep going back to Chicago, but with a different bunch of people though. This was taken in the Field Museum at Chicago. No wonder King Kong was so angry la.

And when we get down to it, we study pretty hard too.

In May '06, after a memorable 3 years, I'm finally done! Still happy, still YOUNG, and still hopeful! Woohoo!

Think twice before you order

Be real careful when you order food at KFC.

I went there for lunch with my bro & sis today. There wasn't a line so we ended up right at the counter without knowing what we wanted to order yet. Our discussion went pretty much like this:

Me (to bro): Ok, what are you ordering?
Bro: Cheesy meltz!
Me (to bro): Meal or what?
Bro: Hmm.. (takes a while to read menu).. meal lah.
Cashier: One Cheesy meltz meal.

Same process with sister.. but with fish sandwich meal.

Bro (to me): Then you leh?
Me: I want chicken. Erm.. erm.. snack plate or dinner plate leh?
(Another few minutes discussing pros & cons of ordering 2 vs 3 pieces of fried chicken. Finally decides on 3 pieces. Cashier must be quite bored by this time.)

Bro: Hmm.. I also want cheesy wedges.
Me: But XR's meal already has wedges. So many potato wedges meh?
Bro: Yea wer. (turns to cashier) Can you cancel the fish sandwich meal? I want just the sandwich.
Cashier: Sorry sir, cannot cancel order.

Me & bro: (Blank looks) Cannot cancel order??
Cashier: Yes, once I type in the entry then cannot cancel anymore.

Since when cannot cancel order?? We haven't even finished ordering! And it's not like they have to purposely make the food for us. It's already there sitting on the shelf even before we arrived. Plus what if she accidentally keyed in the wrong entry?? Who's going to pay for an uncancelable mistake?? Doesn't make sense AT ALL.

Well, it would have been not so bad if that was all she said. But then she had to add...

Bro: Oh then why don't you just erase the whole thing and then we reorder everything again?
Cashier: Cannot lah. Because it's YOUR fault that you order the meal, not my fault.

Next time when you are reading the menu, please don't read it out loud. Don't say things like "Hmm, the (fill in dish name) looks good hor?" Who knows if the waiter might think you actually want to order that and jot it down? Because then it will be YOUR fault, not his.

Pilot Entry

This marks the first sentence in the first entry of my not-so-first blog. :D

I'm moving to Louisville, Kentucky soon. All alone. *sigh* Actually, it's kinda exciting to start fresh, because IF I manage to kick my bad habits, noone in the land of Fried Chicken will know I even had them in the first place. Muahahahaha. But then again... who is going to watch movies with me? Who is going to makan dinner with me? And most importantly, who is going to PLAY MAHJONG with me????

The big plan is, I'll write down my life working abroad in this journal. And I mean every single detail. I don't care how boring or mundane some entries may be. Because someday 10 years from now, I'll be glad that I have something to keep these memories alive.

I realize that I have virtually no pictures from my Freshman year in Grinnell. So sad. Those were fun times, watching movies with my roommate and next-door neighbor, hanging out with the international students (mostly Indian economics majors for some unknown reason) and having deep thoughtful conversations. No pictures as reminders, though. :( Good thing I took more photos at Drake.

So from now on, I will take as many photos as I can!! Hopefully my photography skills can improve also, but knowing myself, that is quite unlikely. It's about time I start using my camera too, before it becomes obsolete. :S

Btw, if I don't update this blog once every few days, please call / message / VISIT me. I might have died from loneliness. Or boredom.

Overflow

I wish you were here
I've got so much to tell you
I don't know what to do
or even if I should do

But you've got enough
and I don't want to trouble you
Who am I to demand
when I don't even give

Do you know you make me feel
that no matter what I achieve
I should have done better
I should have tried more

Should I tell you
there's too much pressure
I don't want to do it for you
This is not my dream

I hate you for pretending
I hate you for lying
Why can't you just say
what's on your mind

Well two can play in this game
I'll go with your rules
but while we're at it
let's add a few twists

What I feel about being home

Whoa I haven't written anything in almost 2 months! Ah well, didn't feel like writing and didn't have anything I really wanted to write about. Was just about to turn off my laptop when I remembered that I promised Luigi's brother I'll blog tonight. Dang it! Haha, just kidding hor. ;)

Me: But I have nothing to blog about!
Somebody: Talk about how you feel about being back in Malaysia after 3 years lah.
Me: ...... em..... not much feeling.

Sure I'm happy to be home, enjoying all the good food, relaxing at home doing absolutely nothing and meeting up with friends. But when people ask me so how does it feel to be back, I don't know lah. Maybe it just hasn't quite sunk in to me that I'm back (even though I've been back for 3 weeks liao hehe). Hasn't gotten into my head that I'm FINALLY back AFTER ALMOST THREE YEARS. Hmm, it actually feels more like I picked up exactly where I left off. Only occasionally it hits me that some things have changed, like my parents look older (*sigh*), we have a new dog and that gigantic 1 Utama.

And then that stupid OPT thing has been bugging me since I came back! So had to keep worrying about it, grrr... just mailed it out so can ignore it for a while hopefully. Worse come to worse can't go back to LA in August, which is not such a bad thing hehe. Actually hor, the only bad things about my holiday so far are all US-related stuff. *stomp*

I've been so unproductive and proud of it, heehee. Keep pushing off stuff that I need to do, but hey, I am having a HOLIDAY! And now I'm getting tired of writing this blog, I think next time I will copy Mario's style, write one paragraph enough. Since I write one paragraph or write 10 paragraphs, either way also counts as updating right? ;)

Just for the sake of having a new entry

I haven't written in a long long time. And even though a lot of things happened in the last few weeks, I just can't seem to find a topic that I want to write about. Well actually, there are a few things I would like to write about, but I decided not to. For those who also blog, you would understand why I didn't. Some things are better left unsaid, untyped and unread.

I was talking to my mum last week, in a way long overdue phone call. She told me that she stopped reading my blog because I update it so sporadically. Apparently she visited 2-3 times and saw that I had no new entries, so she gave up on my blog. Haih. So I've now decided that even if I have NOTHING meaningful to write about, I will still blog once every week. Mummy, don't say I din write anything ah!

But then I've been trying to think of something that I want and can write for a few days now, major writer's block going on. For a lack of better things to write, let's do a recap of what I've been doing for the last few weeks!

Warning: The next few paragraphs contain seriously boring academic information. But bear with me, because this will be the last chance I'll ever get for complaining about papers and class projects. :'(


Okay, let's start with 2 weekends ago. When it suddenly dawned on me that I had 4 papers due in a span of 10 days. As usual, being last minute me, I hadn't even started on any of them. So the last 2 weekends was just a blur of writing papers, papers and more papers. I'm so glad I'm done. Actually, I quite like my paper for History of American Architecture. Mainly because it's the only one with pictures. Heehee.

Next week I'll be having finals. My final finals. My last class was on Thursday, and I skipped it. :S Actually I've been skipping ALOT of classes the last few weeks. At least half of them every week. I ALWAYS tend to skip classes towards the end of the semester, getting lazy and all. But I think this semester was worst. Ah well. I won't remember that I skipped class 5 years from now anyway. :P

Next Saturday my parents and sister are coming to Des Moines! I'm so happy. Because that means I have only another 3 weeks before I get to step on the land of mosquitoes and tolls. Woohoo! We are doing a road trip to Wisconsin right after my commencement, then heading to Chicago for a few days before spending a week in Florida. Will be fun, but sometimes I wish we could just go home straight after commencement. Yes, I really can't wait already.


Ok, doing a "today-I-did-this-this-and-this" blog is so sien.

How would you cross the river?

Here's a question from one of my BUS 195 assignments. Thought it was quite fun! Can you think of other ways to cross the river?

You are alone and are out hiking one day in a forest. Suddenly, you come to a wide river of molasses (what are molasses?) with a very slow, but strong current. Somehow, you must cross the river, but there is no bridge. Please describe the situation as you perceive it including assumptions and constraints.

Assumptions:

• The weather is sunny with no wind
• It is early afternoon
• The forest is quite dense but there is a small clearing where I am standing
• Natural materials available are branches, vines and fallen leaves
• There are a few birds flying overhead but no other wildlife visible (I wouldn't be hiking alone if there were any!)

According to the situation above, create as many possible solutions as you can to cross the river which are based on your constraints and perception of the situation.

Possible Solutions:

• Get some branches and use vines to tie the branches together to make a raft.
• Swim across (and pray there are no crocodiles hiding)
• Find several long vines, tie them to a sturdy tree branch and swing over to the other side like Tarzan! oooooooo eeeeeeeeeeee oooooooo eeeeeee ooooooooooo!!
• Make a pair of floating "shoes" (hollow semicircular objects like the ones Da Vinci used in Ever After) to "walk" across the river

And my favorite one..... *drum roll*

Find a HUGE bird, grab on to its legs and hope that it flies over the river!

Now how would YOU cross the river?

理想

我欲乘风而去 腾云而返；

我愿怡然待世 静心待人；

我想无欲无求 不嫉不怒；

我渴情浓若血 谊深似亲；

我要看轻物质 看重友谊；

我求有福同享 有难自当；

我会遇事皆忍 逢惑皆耐；

我望有话直说 但顾及别人；

我图真诚关心 开怀宽容；

我的理想。

P.S: Yeow Yeow, this is my answer to your question. :P

My 'Old Bean'

Clue: Circular opening Answer: H O L E
Clue: Circular opening? Answer: S E M I

Amazing how one punctuation mark can change the answer. Answers to crossword puzzle clues, that is. I've been doing crossword puzzles almost every day for the last 2 years, since I came to Drake. Yet, of the 250 plus puzzles that I've done, I've only managed to complete less than 10 without ANY form of cheating. That means not asking other people, no pure guessing, and no Googling.

Why do I do crossword puzzles? So many people have asked me that, especially my classmates in my designated "crossword-class-of-the-semester". I can't say exactly. But, one thing I know for sure, my dad was the one who introduced me to crossword puzzles......

When I was young, my dad always did crossword puzzles every morning. I think he still does, but I'm not sure. Once, the Star ran a series of articles that explained how to analyze clues. I don't know why he thought I would be interested, but he showed me the articles. My dad rarely taught me how to read clues. But every evening, after he was done with the crossword for the day, I used to look over his answers and wonder how on earth did he come up with those answers.

That was how we were. My dad never nagged me, never told me what I should and should not do, and never ever dictated how I should live my life. My dad knows when to give advice, and when to let me wander on my own. I don't share an incredibly close relationship with my dad as some people do. We don't "hang out", and some things we don't talk about. But I know my dad cares.

As I grow older, I realize that my dad and I are alike in a lot of ways. We share the same sense of humor, often laughing at the same things. We have the same temper as well, and I've gotten into a few scrapes. I wish I can spend more time with him now, but sometimes things don't work the way we want them to.

So why do I love doing crossword puzzles? Maybe because it reminds me of my dad and I want to be more like him. Or maybe I just like the challenge. The challenge of reading clues in different perspectives, thinking creatively, and honing my vocabulary. Or maybe because some classes are just too boring to listen to.

But whatever the reason, everytime I do a crossword puzzle, it reminds me of how much my dad has influenced my life. If who I am today is an assimilation of who I know and once knew, then my dad has left a Yeti-sized footprint in me.

I am my father's daughter... and proud of it.

I love you, Dad.

我的知音.. 你在哪里？

那天我不开心。 一整天一直郁郁寡欢， 不想和人讲话，亦没有心情说笑。 你临睡前在 msn 上送我一朵花。 简简单单的意思， 让我心暖了。 你没有问我为什么不开心， 也没有试着开导我。 就一朵花， 传达了你的关心和真挚的友谊。 不管时间把我们的距离拉得多遥远， 我们永远是朋友。 我没有告诉你， 可是我要你知道， 你那天的关心， 我领会了。 谢谢你。


近几天我在想着你。 想着我们曾经是很密的朋友。 想着我们晚上熬夜不睡， 就为了通电话。 我记得我们什么都谈， 你的生活哲， 我的观念。 就因为你有很不一样的观点， 你令我好奇。 有个朋友告诉我， 喜新厌旧的习惯要改。 对，是要改。 我不是不想和你作好朋友了， 只是我们之间似乎有一层隔膜。 你在想什么？ 我想重回以前那段日子。


我刚来美国的几个月， 你陪我逗我。 我男朋友不在， 我孤单的日子， 也是你陪我逗我。 短短几句话， 你能逗得我很开心。 有一段时间， 我自己都迷糊了。 或许你不知道， 我也不肯定， 可是我想你曾救了我的感情。 你爱说笑， 有时我不能分什么是真什么是假。 可是你忠于朋友， 就算你不认， 这个我看得一清二楚。


我们认识一年了吧。 你是个很热情的朋友， 我觉得我不是。 你帮了我好多， 就算我整天炸你， 心底还是感谢你的友谊。 有时你明白我在想什么， 明白到我自己都不爽。 整天点出我的心事， 做什么啦！ ：P 不过能认识你， 是我的幸福。 你认识我， 是你前生修的福。


我的知音。。 你在哪里？

they don't know...

* I was talking to a friend and suddenly all this thoughts came streaming through my head. So this is what I jotted down this morning. Not all of it is what I feel. Tried to figure out what other people might have gone through as well. *

We are the ones
For years, we dreamed of leaving the country
for a better future
and people say how lucky you are
but they don't know what it's like.

We arrive and everything is a dream
we meet new people we see a different culture
we laugh at things that we once saw only in movies
we weave our hopes into a new beginning

But soon some things fall apart
Some remain good
Some we realize are just mirages in blind hope

We learn to cook because no one will feed us what we want
We learn to be strong because there is no wall to lean on
We mourn the self that once had no cares in the world
We learn to grow up

We go home and people beam at us
We are the ones who are going places
but in our hearts we don't feel our smiles

Some of us find love in a new place
we hold hands and wonder at the chances of meeting each other so far from home
we are fascinated by people so different from what we are used to
Some dream of love far away
they don't know how it feels until they've felt it themselves
we look at other couples and we yearn
but all we can do is wait
and reminisce about the good times we had and we will have
Some lose love from afar
we cry silently and wonder
why did we strive to go so far and yet end up losing

we have seen what others dream
we yell with delight the morning after our first snowfall
they say winter is beautiful
but they have never been through a winter full of snowstorms

we earn more than people do at home and they say how good it is
but they don't know we worry too about money
this country can realize your dreams and yet it is lacking

they think we are spending our family's money
but they don't know our guilt, our gratitude and our pain
we watch their hard-earned money spent
and we vow one day to repay them
but meanwhile all we can do is say no
when they tell us not to worry and just ask if we need more

we go home and we see our friends
some have come back from afar
and when we look at each other we recognize the joy and pain of being home
we are glad to be back
but everywhere things are not the same anymore

we mourn for the things that we missed and lost
the close friendships that fade
the people and the beloved pets who have left us forever
not being there to watch our baby siblings or cousins grow up

we celebrate friendships we made
people who lived with us who know how we really behave who stood by us
we shared our joys our tears our loneliness
our friends for life who once were our closest family

in the end
we might never want to live through it twice
but if we had a chance to go back and choose
we'd walk the same road again

they don't know the tears we've cried
they don't know the tests we've tried
they don't know the joy we've had
they don't know the friends we've met

we don't know until we lost the things we took for granted
and then found them again
we have grown up
we are never the same again