我不是故意的。
这么多年了，因为有他，所以习惯拒绝别人。
如今没有他，却还没把习惯改过来。
所以当我把你推在门外，请你不要放弃。
我其实在门后等着你。
只是有点忘了怎么开门。
手里握着的钥匙，还不敢交给你。
曾经说不能因为一次的经历而不敢再爱。
曾经说不能因为一次的经历而怕受伤害。
可是还是有点担心。
我才刚开始适应一个人的生活。
习惯一个人睡觉。
习惯出去玩不用向人交代。
我不想把刚规律好的生活重新整理一遍。
我不敢。
我还记得几个月前的伤。
还记得那些失眠的夜晚。
所以当你逗我开心时，我心里没忘爱可以有多痛。
因为不敢被伤， 也不敢伤你，所以掩藏自己的感觉。
可以给我多一点时间吗？
假如你是真心的，时间可以翻倒我心里那座墙。
假如你是有意的，不要因为我看似冷淡而气馁。
要多少时间？
我不知道。
你可以等吗？
等到有一天，我会主动握住你的手。
等到有一天，我敢依赖你。
等到有一天，我翻译我内心的话给你听。
那一天，你就会知道。。。
我已经悄悄把钥匙交给你了。
(I just remembered I made a list of "blogs-to-come" at the right column and I NEVER did write any of those. It's about time I start clearing the list. So here goes the first entry...)
Classic-but-highly-delusional-version:
Everyone has someone and only one who is meant for them.
Modified-and-more-realistic-version:
There are ten people out there for every person. If you are lucky enough to find one out of these ten, then you would live together happily ever after.
Note: These ten people are ranked in order. For example, the #1 person for Daniel Wu (which is me of course) is most meant to be with Daniel Wu. His #2 person, let's say her name is Sheau Chin (oh wait that's still me but what do you care), is the next most compatible with him. And so on. The ranking is reciprocal too. So whoever happens to be Daniel Wu's #5 person (which is probably still me) will have Daniel Wu on her list as #5.
A while back, I was talking to a friend about this. I asked her if she believed that she would find the right person for her. The modified version was what my friend told me. She didn't believe that there was only one person for her, she believed there was ten.
So I asked her if she did find one of them, would she know that he is the one meant for her. Or would she always be guessing? She said when she meets him, she would just instinctively know that he is one of the ten. Gut feeling.
So I asked her again, what if she meets 2 of them at the same time? Which one would she pick? Or worse, what if she was lucky enough to meet more than 2 at the same time? What now? That was why she came up with that ranking system. So she would just pick the one that's higher up on the compatibility ladder.
Then I asked her if that meant she would also instinctively know which one is ranked higher? At which point she said yes and told me to zip it.
That discussion happened a few months ago. At first, I agreed with her. Well maybe not ten people exactly, but a few people somewhere out there who were meant for me. Who, when we meet, would spark a fire so strong that it would take a lifetime and then a bit more to burn out.
I've had some time to mull over that discussion. And no.. I don't believe that there are people who are simply born to be meant for each other for life. Maybe there are people who are especially compatible with each other, but the level of compatibility can change with time.
People change. Our tastes, our hobbies, our goals, our desires, our interests. We change everyday. And with that, what we need from other people. So yes, there may be ten people who are just right for me now. But will we be right for each other forever? Who knows? Maybe when we change, we don't change in the right direction. So in that set of ten people, 5 of them are not compatible with me anymore. And because of changes, another 5 who were not in the list gets added.
I believe that at certain times in life, there are certain people (note not just one) who are more likely to fall in love. And when I move to a different stage in life, hopefully we will still be right for each other. But it's not a must. It's not a fact. It's not for sure. So if we change and we find that we are holding on just because and it's not working even though we tried, then it's time to let go. Maybe we'll lose a lover but gain a confidante, or maybe we'll find that even as friends we don't click anymore.
Do I believe that I'll find someone who would grow with me? I don't know. It doesn't hurt to hope. But I know I'm not ready yet. Have I already met the one who's right for me now? Who knows? Oh that's another thing, I don't believe I can instinctively tell that someone's the one for me. Guess I have no gut feelings. But I do know one thing... Daniel Wu's on my list no matter what.
我想我是想念你了。
不见你一两天，心情开始有点郁闷。
是什么原因让我想念你呢？
是我真的喜欢你吗？
还是因为我认识的人不多，又和你谈得来，所以特别想和你出去玩？
有点混乱。
到底喜欢不喜欢你呢？
是纯粹想要有个人依靠？
是因为一起玩时我很开心？
是因为难得在这里找到一个和我谈得来的朋友？
还是真的喜欢你？
又有谁可以说清什么原因就是喜欢，什么原因只是寂寞。
有时候会喜欢上一个人，是环境促成的。
在我心情最低落时，你刚好给了我依靠的感觉。
在我想出去玩却不知道找谁时，你刚好约我一起出去。
我随口提起一个我一直想去却从来没机会去的地方， 你第二天带我去了。
你陪我聊天，逗我玩。
所以慢慢地越来越想着你。
曾经说不能怕受伤害，可是终究是不敢的。
所以我把感觉藏起来，因为不想听到不想听的答案。
但是我想就算我把感觉藏起来，你看得出的。
至少我觉得身边的人看得出。
或许当局者迷吧，可是我猜不透你在想什么。
你喜欢不喜欢我呢？还是只把我当成好朋友而已？
不想问，可是暧昧太久，我开始心急了。
我是要走一步看一步的。
但愿我的耐力能够坚持下去。
There's a feeling inside me.. that's creating bubbles of joy. Everytime a bubble pops, it makes me want to smile. It makes me happy. It makes me want to tell someone. It makes me wish I could keep the bubbles bubbling for a long time.
It's so simple. So innocent. It does not ask for anything. It does not expect anything. It gives at will. And it accepts whatever it gets.
It will not get any better than this. One more step, and it's no longer pure. One revealing question, and all the bubbles will burst. One wrong move, and there will be expectations.
So don't come bursting my bubbles just yet. Let's stay like this for a while.
我不想要什么。
我不要你的承诺，也不要你的责任。
我只是要，有时候可以依赖你， 有时候对你任性， 有时候让你照顾。
我不会问你到底要什么。
我不会问你那晚的意义。
请让我好好享受一下暧昧不清的感觉。
让我偶尔猜测你在想什么。
话说太清楚了， 就不再单纯了。
说出来了，不是失望，就是责任。
我不需要责任，亦不要承诺。
我只想，偶尔对你微笑，偶尔看着你，在即将陷进你的眼神前抽身。
还没得到的东西，最好玩。
我不是水性杨花，我只是喜欢这个感觉。
这个暧昧的感觉。
Guess what's my horoscope today?
You may feel pushed and pulled emotionally but that's what it will take to get you to do what needs to be done to move on. Let go of the things and people who are no longer a benefit. You can find happiness, security and a better future.Exactly what I need!
Erm... I know I said in the last blog that that would be the last blog about my 5-year relationship. But.. I was listening to some songs my biew jie sent to me last night.. and I just absolutely HAVE to put this here. So, no more claims about any blog being the last liao hehe.
I had a GREAAATTTTTTTT weekend!!!
Hahaha, so happy now. Don't ask me why cause I don't even know why myself.
*ninja turtle hopping around madly*
Someone hit me on the head right now.
Missing.
26 to 29-year old.
Is about 6 feet (1.83 cm) tall.
Works out occasionally and likes to play sports.
Confident and intelligent, but does not take himself too seriously.
Sensitive enough to understand my feelings.
Strong enough to handle my temper.
Makes me feel safe.
Has a passion in his life.
Able to make quick decisions when needed.
Someone that I can talk to about anything and everything.
Likes to travel and try out new activities.
Man enough without being chauvinistic.
Makes me laugh.
Is genuinely interested and supportive of my dreams.
Someone whom I respect.
If found, please notify immediately.
什么时候最难熬？夜深人静的时候。
什么日子最难过？每星期习惯和他聊天的时间。
越来越难入眠。
每晚躺在床上，反反复复地回想。 回想好的从前，也回想不好的从前。
不要告诉我别想这么多。
我要一直想，想到我自己不想再想了。
夜晚心里特别寂寞。
月亮反映出我的孤单。
我趴在床上，用手撑着头， 看着外面的街灯车辆广告牌。
外面的世界一如往常。
我的世界却彻底地变了， 可是表面上看来，我的日子没有很大的改变。
每天照样上班。 同事中只有一个知道我的事。所以对他们来说，我还是我。
把私事和公事划清，有时让我感觉很不协调。 好像有两个面具。
偶然发现有个同事的父亲去世了，我猜他不想别人知道。
我看他上班，和往常没什么不一样，但是他内心是怎么样的？应该很伤心吧。
我每天上班，和同事聊天，一起做project，开会。就像以前的日子。
但是下午当我坐在自己的cubicle时，有时会发呆。
好奇怪的感觉。
像有两个我，一个如往常过日子，一个却停了脚步。两个我活在同一个躯壳里， 造成心理矛盾。
我跟表姐说我不习惯这个改变。
表姐告诉我，“调查显示一个人做一样东西21次后，就会变成习惯。”
所以多九天，我就会习惯了。
习惯改变了我。
以前不曾有个人陪我，所以不怕一个人的生活。现在习惯有个人陪我，就觉得一个人就是寂寞孤单。
我是坚强的女人吗？可能吧。
但再坚强的女人，也会欢迎一个更坚强的男人的肩膀。
他不是。所以我不能怕一个人的生活。不管多久，我也要等那个男人。
以前我不能了解别人的伤心，现在我即使不能了解，但至少能体谅。
伤心的时候，最感激朋友的支持。 最惭愧自己以前因为恋情而忽略他们。
谢谢你们的关怀。
“木目心今心人尔”， 我明白这个句子了。 :D
I can't sleep.
It's past my bedtime and I can't sleep. There are too many thoughts swirling in my head. I feel that chill coming back to me and there's an empty feeling inside my heart again. I'm drinking a glass of milk now because somebody told me that milk helps to induce sleep. I hope it does.
I just realized that there's nobody I can talk to right now. Almost everyone has gone somewhere. To Europe, to Hong Kong, or back home. My friends in Malaysia or Singapore are working, and my mum's out somewhere. Noone that I want to talk to is available.
I miss talking to you. There's no pretending about it. I've been talking to you for so many years, it's already a habit. And you know what they say about habits. Easy to pick up, tough to drop. How true. I've been trying to stop biting my nails for 4 years and I still haven't completely stopped.
So there's no way I can stop just like this right now. After all, this 'habit' was learned over 5 years. Yes, I know we are still friends and we don't have to stop talking. But what I mean is, I don't have to care the way I used to. I don't have to ask about some things anymore. Yet it's hard to distinguish that fine line between caring as a friend and as a lover.
The hardest part is recognizing that some things will never happen again. Some places I'll never go. Some stuff I'll never do. Are we supposed to forget them? Or just store them in a corner of our minds and never talk about those memories again? I don't understand. Am I allowed to fondly reminisce? Or is that a sign that I haven't moved on?
I do want to talk to you. Like friends who have grown older and wiser with each other's company. I want to go back to how it was before it all began, but with greater understanding and more inside jokes. And I hope that when life picks up its pace again, we'll keep in touch.
I think the milk has worked its magic. I'm off to bed.
When I woke up this morning, I spent a minute lying on my bed, wondering if I dreamt about all that happened last night.
Then I realized I didn't. That it was real. So I went back to sleep.
When I woke up next, again I thought if it was all a dream.
Again I realized it wasn't. But this time I got out of bed.
I didn't do much today. I figured I deserve a break. A whole day of planning to do nothing and sticking with the plan. Instead of planning to do something and end up not doing anything anyway.
So I did a Desperate Housewives marathon. Season 3 is pretty good. Much better than Season 2, though I still think Season 1 beats them all. Did 9 episodes today, 2 more left to go.
The day went by pretty quickly, watching the series kept my mind off some things. It still hit home everytime I stopped in between episodes though. But I'm glad for the way I spent the day. If I didn't mourn at all, I would be so worried about myself.
I wrote myself a letter today. Just in case days or weeks or maybe months from now, when I begin to forget, I can remind myself why this is the way it should be. It's stuck on my fridge door now, and I've read it three times. Not that I have forgotten, but it keeps me calm.
I feel a constant chill in my apartment. I don't know if it's because it's colder outside today or it's just me. The feeling that I always get when I'm on a rollercoaster that's about to plunge straight down? How my heart is just about to leap out of my body? I felt like that all day. But my heart won't leap out and let me be. It insists on staying put, tugging at me.
But I'll be fine. I am fine. Fine in the sense that I need to feel sad now so that I can feel happy next time. So don't ask me if I'm fine or not. Because you already know what I'll say. What else can I say? What would you say if I said I wasn't fine? I wouldn't know how to answer myself, so I won't put you through it.
Tomorrow I'm going to the office, even though it's still my vacation. I can't write my report in my apartment, and I really want to finish it. So let tomorrow come. And I'll deal with myself one day at a time.
终于放了。
我还是懦弱的。 还好我们之中， 有一个肯走出第一步。
谢谢你肯诚实主动地告诉我，我一直不敢问的问题。
我没有恨， 也没有怨。 毕竟是我曾经的决定演变成现在的局面。
其实当初就不应该走回头路。
我等这一天， 等了一年。
这一天到了，不用再等它的来临，倒还有种解脱的感觉。
说我不难过是假的。
心在隐隐作痛。
会痛，是好的。
我们曾经拥有的，是值得好好伤心一番。
五年了，你是我成长的一部分。不是，你是我永远的一部分。
我们还会是很好的朋友。
毕竟现在的感觉，不就是走向知己了。
我知道，我们会比现在快乐。
谢谢你。
几个月前， 有人问我：你做过什么事让我最感动？
我当时怔了一下， 想不出。 想不出你什么时候做了轰天动地的行为， 或有罗曼蒂克的表达， 亦或是感人肺腑的故事。 是啊，都这么久了，我们早就拿初识的火花来换取彼此深刻的了解。
我想不到答案，就含糊地带过： 让我感动的事很多，没有分哪一个最令我感动。
怎料朋友不放弃， 继续问：那最近呢？ 最近他做过什么感人的事？
我干脆说： 不记得了，应该没什么事吧。
嗯，我们习惯了彼此的存在， 似乎不再花心思给对方一个惊喜。当时有点想念我们刚开始时， 那份甜蜜又带点神秘的感觉。心里抱怨着， 你把我当成一个自然会在你身边的人。
过了几天，我们和你家人在外面吃晚餐。你帮我叫了食物，又故意不告诉我叫了什么。 一看， 原来是姜葱鹿肉饭。 突然很感动， 开心了一晚。
原来让我感动的事，你一直在做。 何谓感动？就是当我发现你是真的有听我说话。 早上你驾着车时我说想吃姜葱鹿肉饭， 到了晚上连我自己都忘了。 没想到一句随口的话你居然还记得。
其实我不需要你做什么特别的惊喜， 你为我做了很多。 我无理取闹， 你还能心平气和的讨我欢心； 当你知道我想要什么却又不敢说时， 你就拿到我手里了。 你去公司旅行我跟你赌气， 你答应带我去玩。 你周末去上班我困在你家，临走前特地跑到附近买午餐给我， 还买我最爱的虾面。 朋友说我为你牺牲很多，其实谁为谁牺牲最多，谁能说准呢？
假如朋友再问我， 我要告诉他： 最令我感动的事， 是我们在一起五年后， 你还是一样疼我，宠我，迁就我。 你见过我最坏的一面，却能拿我的怪癖当可爱， 也可以包容我的缺点。 没有以前你偷偷跑来新加坡找我的那种感动， 现在我想我有的是， 一种细水长流的感动。
I watched Pride and Prejudice last night. It turned out to be nicer than I expected. Very sweet very touching. Half the time I couldn't catch what they were saying though. And there were no subtitles to help me. But still it was worth watching. I'll probably watch it again some day when I have nothing else to do.
Romantic movies that have happy endings are the best. Like Lake House. Makes me feel all lovey dovey. =) But seriously, it feels very nice to see people ending up together and staying together despite it all. In this fickle world, it's not easy to find the person you love, and harder to keep the relationship strong.
Back to Pride and Prejudice. A lot of people are gonna disagree with me, but IMHO, Mr. Darcy was such an ideal guy. (Note: My ideal guy has imperfections so that I can find him in real life.) Sure he looked pretty stand-offish at first, but a 'man of few words' is better than a guy who cannot shut up. Isn't it? Besides if he finds it difficult to talk to people he doesn't know well, that means he cannot flirt with other gals! Score one.
And then he was brave enough to say the 3 magic words. Maybe last time it was normal to 'express your love so ardently', so to speak. But still. I don't know how easy is it for a guy to say that now lah, but it means a lot. At least it means a lot when you say it sincerely. Then again, if you have only known the guy for a short while, would you believe him if he said he loved you? Do you believe in love at first sight? Hmm.. dilemma.
The best thing was, after he got rejected by Elizabeth's very uncivil reply, he didn't give up. He still did things for her, cleared up misunderstandings... basically made her feel "gam dong" (touched) until she accepted him. How many people can do that?? How many people will still try after being rejected? I'm not counting the guy who is trying to get the girl and is not sure whether she likes him or not. I'm talking about the guy who is still trying after the girl says she'll rather die than be with him.
I know some people will just forget about it straight away, well if you really liked the girl, you wouldn't just give up like that would you? But then, this doesn't apply to every case lah. Sometimes it's better to let go. If she is in love with another person, then I guess you can't keep bugging her. She wouldn't be happy being with you that way. Then again, you might obsess about the 'what-if's in the future if you didn't try now.
Hmm.. this is quite a dilemma. But Mr. Darcy is still pretty appealing! And Keira Knightley is so hot even when absolutely drenched.
I wish you were here
I've got so much to tell you
I don't know what to do
or even if I should do
But you've got enough
and I don't want to trouble you
Who am I to demand
when I don't even give
Do you know you make me feel
that no matter what I achieve
I should have done better
I should have tried more
Should I tell you
there's too much pressure
I don't want to do it for you
This is not my dream
I hate you for pretending
I hate you for lying
Why can't you just say
what's on your mind
Well two can play in this game
I'll go with your rules
but while we're at it
let's add a few twists
* I was talking to a friend and suddenly all this thoughts came streaming through my head. So this is what I jotted down this morning. Not all of it is what I feel. Tried to figure out what other people might have gone through as well. *
We are the ones
For years, we dreamed of leaving the country
for a better future
and people say how lucky you are
but they don't know what it's like.
We arrive and everything is a dream
we meet new people we see a different culture
we laugh at things that we once saw only in movies
we weave our hopes into a new beginning
But soon some things fall apart
Some remain good
Some we realize are just mirages in blind hope
We learn to cook because no one will feed us what we want
We learn to be strong because there is no wall to lean on
We mourn the self that once had no cares in the world
We learn to grow up
We go home and people beam at us
We are the ones who are going places
but in our hearts we don't feel our smiles
Some of us find love in a new place
we hold hands and wonder at the chances of meeting each other so far from home
we are fascinated by people so different from what we are used to
Some dream of love far away
they don't know how it feels until they've felt it themselves
we look at other couples and we yearn
but all we can do is wait
and reminisce about the good times we had and we will have
Some lose love from afar
we cry silently and wonder
why did we strive to go so far and yet end up losing
we have seen what others dream
we yell with delight the morning after our first snowfall
they say winter is beautiful
but they have never been through a winter full of snowstorms
we earn more than people do at home and they say how good it is
but they don't know we worry too about money
this country can realize your dreams and yet it is lacking
they think we are spending our family's money
but they don't know our guilt, our gratitude and our pain
we watch their hard-earned money spent
and we vow one day to repay them
but meanwhile all we can do is say no
when they tell us not to worry and just ask if we need more
we go home and we see our friends
some have come back from afar
and when we look at each other we recognize the joy and pain of being home
we are glad to be back
but everywhere things are not the same anymore
we mourn for the things that we missed and lost
the close friendships that fade
the people and the beloved pets who have left us forever
not being there to watch our baby siblings or cousins grow up
we celebrate friendships we made
people who lived with us who know how we really behave who stood by us
we shared our joys our tears our loneliness
our friends for life who once were our closest family
in the end
we might never want to live through it twice
but if we had a chance to go back and choose
we'd walk the same road again
they don't know the tears we've cried
they don't know the tests we've tried
they don't know the joy we've had
they don't know the friends we've met
we don't know until we lost the things we took for granted
and then found them again
we have grown up
we are never the same again
樱树枯萎 雨继流，
落花没意 水无情；
闪电交叉 雷欲羞，
雨过天晓 再幻晴。
Reader: "What the??! What does that mean????"
Just curious.. what do YOU think this means?
For the non-Malaysians, non-Chinese, bananas and semi-bananas, here's a terrible translation:
Sakura tree dying rain still pouring;
Fallen flowers no meaning water no feeling.
Lightning across the sky thunder feels shy;
After rain the morning calls sunny sky is again false.
Reader: "WHAT??!"
Dear Santa,
I might not have been sugary nice this year, but I've tried. I might have said some things I shouldn't have said, and did not say some things that I should have. I may have been unkind or selfish occasionally, and even lied once in a while. But I neither robbed nor killed, so would you please grant my requests this Christmas?
You gave me a lot this year, and I want to thank you for that. You gave me a wonderful summer and introduced me to a world I'll soon join. I've met some great people, people whom I hope will remain my friends for life. You brought me to many places, and showed me what I could achieve. You sprinkled pleasant surprises along the year, and revealed some long-lost friends as I strolled through time.
But Santa, for all your gifts, I arrive at December's door an unhappy child. You showed me the paths I could take, and I've strived to travel as far as I can. In my journey, I dropped some items in my backpack, yet I feel more burdened by the loss. I dreamt of frolicking with deers, diving into waterfalls and running with leopards, but somehow I ended up taking the shortest shortcut possible.
I wanted to do my best in whatever I did, but now I think my priorities have been terribly wrong. Although I've done well in the things I know I'm good at, I don't feel the sense of accomplishment after reaching my goals. I swore never to let my goals become my life, but I think I've been too single-minded in my pursuit. If we are climbing towards our peak in our 20s, then why is a part of me already dying?
I lost my traveling partner this year, and I can only blame myself for losing him. In the month that followed, I relived countless memories and shed silent tears. Why can't life remain simple as it was years ago? A time when choosing where to go or where to eat were the toughest decisions we made. Our map says we'll meet a fork in our journey soon, and I'm afraid that we'll take separate roads then. I cannot bear to travel further without knowing when our roads will merge again. You've been to every chimney on earth. You know the way to every place. Won't you point out how far after the fork would the two paths meet?
Dear Santa, if you do make dreams come true, won't you show me how to turn back? My backpack is starting to tear, and the items I need to fix it are lying on the road home.
This Christmas eve, I'm going to sleep early. No matter what noises I hear that night, I'll not open my eyes and catch you leaving gifts under the tree. When morning comes, I'll unwrap my gifts. Hopefully, in one of those colorful gift boxes, I'll find a new map. A map to return home.
Love,
Sheau Chin
Here's my first attempt at a 50-word story!
This story was inspired during a long walk from Terminal 2 to Terminal 1 in Chicago O'Hare airport. There's a pretty interesting neon light sculpture in the tunnel linking those 2 terminals. The lights range from green to orange to purple. The whole thing is hanging above the walk-alator so you can look up at it. And there's some sort of music playing. It's one of those things that is supposed to have a very 'deep' meaning. Anyway, I was walking on the walk-alator, holding a Starbucks coffee, and suddenly thought of this story. Not very nice one la, but hey, can't expect much from an exhausted person waiting for her 4th delayed flight in 2 days.
I read that there's a competition by some newspaper (I think it's New York Times, but am not sure). This competition asks people to submit stories that are 50 and ONLY 50 words long, then the best stories are published. I read 2 examples, they are very very good. It is so hard to write concisely while retaining every point you want to make. Which is why the story below has a lot of missing points.
Btw, the story was not meant to be 50 words long only. But then I got tired of the story halfway through, ran out of ideas and decided people might ask me questions about it if it was too detailed. Plus I don't want another story as long as 'Elena-the-witch'. So anyway, after a super long-winded explanation of my story, here goes...
She loved Frappuccinos. He drank Espressos only and disliked Frappuccinos. They met in New York. A month later, she fell for him. He was attached, so she left for San Francisco. She couldn't forget him. She started drinking Espressos for the memories. One day they met again.
He was holding a Frappuccino.
Yes yes, corny I know.
后来还是走了。
一时狠下心来， 说走就走。
或许忙得什么都没时间想， 所以我的决定能坚持到现在。
也或许没有时间， 所以还没有好好的哀悼一下。
我自己觉得过得还好， 可是却会在外面径自发呆。
脾气比平时还要难以捉摸， 一时沉默寡言， 一时又很多话。
你还会习惯性地在晚上跟我说声晚安。
有些话我们不说了， 可时彼此还没到客客气气寒嘘几句的地步。
我想， 我还会依靠你， 直到你自己放手的那一天。
我们用泪用心用坚持换回来的点点滴滴， 如今就记忆在我们心中。
你走进我生活的第一天， 犹如往湖中间丢了一粒小石子。
波澜慢慢往外移， 我的规律也慢慢变。
但和最后又恢复平静的湖不一样的， 是从此我不会变回以前的我。
我永远都爱你， 只是我不是爱情万能主义者。
也许多几个月， 我们又会在一起了。
可是我有一种感觉， 有一天， 我们还是会分的。
四年的风风雨雨， 分分离离，注定了我们的生活永远都会纠缠着。
因为我们是两只跳不完舞的蝴蝶。
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