they don't know...

* I was talking to a friend and suddenly all this thoughts came streaming through my head. So this is what I jotted down this morning. Not all of it is what I feel. Tried to figure out what other people might have gone through as well. *

We are the ones
For years, we dreamed of leaving the country
for a better future
and people say how lucky you are
but they don't know what it's like.

We arrive and everything is a dream
we meet new people we see a different culture
we laugh at things that we once saw only in movies
we weave our hopes into a new beginning

But soon some things fall apart
Some remain good
Some we realize are just mirages in blind hope

We learn to cook because no one will feed us what we want
We learn to be strong because there is no wall to lean on
We mourn the self that once had no cares in the world
We learn to grow up

We go home and people beam at us
We are the ones who are going places
but in our hearts we don't feel our smiles

Some of us find love in a new place
we hold hands and wonder at the chances of meeting each other so far from home
we are fascinated by people so different from what we are used to
Some dream of love far away
they don't know how it feels until they've felt it themselves
we look at other couples and we yearn
but all we can do is wait
and reminisce about the good times we had and we will have
Some lose love from afar
we cry silently and wonder
why did we strive to go so far and yet end up losing

we have seen what others dream
we yell with delight the morning after our first snowfall
they say winter is beautiful
but they have never been through a winter full of snowstorms

we earn more than people do at home and they say how good it is
but they don't know we worry too about money
this country can realize your dreams and yet it is lacking

they think we are spending our family's money
but they don't know our guilt, our gratitude and our pain
we watch their hard-earned money spent
and we vow one day to repay them
but meanwhile all we can do is say no
when they tell us not to worry and just ask if we need more

we go home and we see our friends
some have come back from afar
and when we look at each other we recognize the joy and pain of being home
we are glad to be back
but everywhere things are not the same anymore

we mourn for the things that we missed and lost
the close friendships that fade
the people and the beloved pets who have left us forever
not being there to watch our baby siblings or cousins grow up

we celebrate friendships we made
people who lived with us who know how we really behave who stood by us
we shared our joys our tears our loneliness
our friends for life who once were our closest family

in the end
we might never want to live through it twice
but if we had a chance to go back and choose
we'd walk the same road again

they don't know the tears we've cried
they don't know the tests we've tried
they don't know the joy we've had
they don't know the friends we've met

we don't know until we lost the things we took for granted
and then found them again
we have grown up
we are never the same again