Are you meant for me?

(I just remembered I made a list of "blogs-to-come" at the right column and I NEVER did write any of those. It's about time I start clearing the list. So here goes the first entry...)

Classic-but-highly-delusional-version:

Everyone has someone and only one who is meant for them.

Modified-and-more-realistic-version:

There are ten people out there for every person. If you are lucky enough to find one out of these ten, then you would live together happily ever after.

Note: These ten people are ranked in order. For example, the #1 person for Daniel Wu (which is me of course) is most meant to be with Daniel Wu. His #2 person, let's say her name is Sheau Chin (oh wait that's still me but what do you care), is the next most compatible with him. And so on. The ranking is reciprocal too. So whoever happens to be Daniel Wu's #5 person (which is probably still me) will have Daniel Wu on her list as #5.

A while back, I was talking to a friend about this. I asked her if she believed that she would find the right person for her. The modified version was what my friend told me. She didn't believe that there was only one person for her, she believed there was ten.

So I asked her if she did find one of them, would she know that he is the one meant for her. Or would she always be guessing? She said when she meets him, she would just instinctively know that he is one of the ten. Gut feeling.

So I asked her again, what if she meets 2 of them at the same time? Which one would she pick? Or worse, what if she was lucky enough to meet more than 2 at the same time? What now? That was why she came up with that ranking system. So she would just pick the one that's higher up on the compatibility ladder.

Then I asked her if that meant she would also instinctively know which one is ranked higher? At which point she said yes and told me to zip it.

That discussion happened a few months ago. At first, I agreed with her. Well maybe not ten people exactly, but a few people somewhere out there who were meant for me. Who, when we meet, would spark a fire so strong that it would take a lifetime and then a bit more to burn out.

I've had some time to mull over that discussion. And no.. I don't believe that there are people who are simply born to be meant for each other for life. Maybe there are people who are especially compatible with each other, but the level of compatibility can change with time.

People change. Our tastes, our hobbies, our goals, our desires, our interests. We change everyday. And with that, what we need from other people. So yes, there may be ten people who are just right for me now. But will we be right for each other forever? Who knows? Maybe when we change, we don't change in the right direction. So in that set of ten people, 5 of them are not compatible with me anymore. And because of changes, another 5 who were not in the list gets added.

I believe that at certain times in life, there are certain people (note not just one) who are more likely to fall in love. And when I move to a different stage in life, hopefully we will still be right for each other. But it's not a must. It's not a fact. It's not for sure. So if we change and we find that we are holding on just because and it's not working even though we tried, then it's time to let go. Maybe we'll lose a lover but gain a confidante, or maybe we'll find that even as friends we don't click anymore.

Do I believe that I'll find someone who would grow with me? I don't know. It doesn't hurt to hope. But I know I'm not ready yet. Have I already met the one who's right for me now? Who knows? Oh that's another thing, I don't believe I can instinctively tell that someone's the one for me. Guess I have no gut feelings. But I do know one thing... Daniel Wu's on my list no matter what.