Yo-yo-ing

It's so odd.

There are some things that I need to let go of.. and occasionally I can come to accept them.. but sometimes they just bug me.

Sometimes I understand why it has to happen the way it did.. but sometimes I can't. I think understanding is not enough. I need to know for sure for me to let go. But some things we'll never find out because we can't ask. Some we'll never know even if we ask.

So what should I do? What am I supposed to do?

There are days when I feel angry, but blaming the other person while I feel like the innocent victim doesn't help. For one thing, I was not innocent, but what should I have done instead? I am not exactly sure.

In my more objective state of mind, I understand what's happening now. Haven't I seen it happen before to someone else? I know you mean well and it's better for you, but sometimes I feel bewildered.. as though someone sent me a half-torn map and expects me to know where the treasure is buried.

Am I supposed to ask you? Will you even admit it?

Someone wisely told me that nothing is forever.. and maybe a few months from now we'd be back where we started. But I doubt it. It's happened before and I've watched each one shatter. It's me, I know, who can't put the pieces back again.

But if I get the chance to choose again, I'd make the same choices. For I may have lost 2 eagles, but I've found my snowy owl.

Snapshots

Rare moment alert! I feel like posting photos on my blog. Omigosh. This is rare indeed. I shall sacrifice the obscenely long post I was going to write and post up photos instead.

Let the credits roll.

This was during Kentucky Derby. Derby is one of the biggest horse races in the US.. the winner gets $2 million.. meaning the horse is worth more than me. :S Photo was taken with my co-workers. The guys in the back row are on my team. This was also the first (and only) time I ate pineapples soaked in vodka/mojito/some-strong-alcoholic-drink-that-I-can't-remember. Ugh.. not too good.

My office's Poker Tournament! Very very unexpectedly I won 2nd place.. heehee.. had good luck that day. And some good hands. See my stack. See see. :D :D :D Btw it looks like something is stuck to my teeth hor? But there isn't! My original photo looks fine. Hmmm... weird.

My first skiing trip ever! Sooooo fun. You know how those professional skiers zigzag downhill? For some reason I can only zig right but cannot zag left. :S So I rush straight down until I freak out and fall down. Still fun though.

Played poker at Jim's birthday party. I swear I'm not becoming a poker junkie! Once my mahjong set comes back with yours truly to Louisville.. it'll be mahjong sessions! Muahahaha. And who is Jim? Jim is... if you don't know.. then come and ask me. I dare you. :p

And what's a birthday party without le cake giganto from la factorie cheesecake?

And guests who have to endure my piano playing...

... and politely wait for me to finish.

Last 2 photos completely irrelevant to everything above.. just because I likey.

Photo (a): furball who desperately needs some grooming


Photo (b): me. No it is not a studio shot. Long story about how I got this photo, but it looks decent yeah? :)

End of photo posting spree. Now go read something more meaningful.

Le Festin

Absolutely beautiful song.



The song is called Le Festin, is sung by Camille and comes from the movie, you-guessed-it, Ratatouille. I think I've heard it 48267 times already today. The movie, by the way, is very worth watching. If you haven't seen it yet, stop reading and go download watch it in the cinema right N-O-W.

I just fell in love with French all over again.

Managed to find the lyrics. Did not understand 99% of it. The remaining 1% I could recognize the words but what I thought it meant and what it actually meant was completely different. Eek.

No more learning Spanish! *pretending that I am still learning* (stopped a loooooong time ago)

I shall take up French again!

(But have to wait until I go back to Louisville and move to my own apartment and find a car and finish my next exam and attend APC and and and...)

__________

________ is making me oddly dissatisfied despite the fact that I'm enjoying a 60D/59N holiday package inclusive of all meals when desired and fluffy dog.

Don't know what ______ is. But whatever _______ is... it's making me antisocial.

Stupid stupid stupid stupid.

So I've been counting down on my MSN nick for a few days but I stopped. I think realizing that I have 3 weeks to spend at home until goodness-knows-when is not helping things. Not that I don't want to go back to Louisville though. In fact, I'm quite excited to go back this time. Will be so fun! Moving to a new place, getting more furniture (not really required but I can come up with reasons to buy when the time comes), finding my own car... all with someone's company.

But then I'll be leaving my family again. *sigh* Where's the win-win situation?

Other than that though, everything's going fine. The previous post is not exactly a reflection of what's happening right now. It's uh.. "loosely based on a true story... but more dramatic".

Eesh. Really bugging me.

Argh.

Grrr.

What a pointless post. Shall blog when have more meaningful things to say. Which might be a long long time from now.

不语的等待

我还能说什么

当初答应不变是你

如今默默离去亦是你

曾有雨天为我取暖

曾经孤独有你陪伴

曾经快乐共同分享

曾经一起想着未来

但我的未来或许

就只能想着曾经

已从错愕转为接受

虽然惋惜但我明白

是不平衡的关系

缩短永远的期限

你的付出

没有相对的回报

被宠坏当成自然

过了线的对待

归类为太热情

固执认为

有些事不会变

天真以为

有些话说了就真

知道有些地方出错

告诉我该如何挽回

装着没事

我太了解

你若选择离去

永远说不出口

而我

我还能说什么

My Spring @ Louisville

In the preceding months that I went missing, I..

Thunder-ed Over Louisville.

Ran with the Roses at the Kentucky Derby.

Ate some of the best sushi I ever tasted.

Won and lost at Texas Hold'em.

Ambushed and got ambushed while playing Laser Tag.

Went underground literally in the Mammoth Caves.

Tried Equadorian Ethiopian cuisine for the first time.

Putted a hole-in-one and a triple bogey in Miniature Golf.

Thought my arm was going to break after just 2 rounds of bowling.

Cooked my first few Malaysian dishes since I came to Louisville.

Settled for playing Wii Sports as "exercise".

Found a good place to eat Bibimbap with raw egg.

Watched more movies than I ever did during my 3 years in Iowa.

Joined the circle of life via the Lion King musical.

Picked up phrases from a Chinese dialect.

Ordered take-out from all the major fast food chains.

Felt bad for not updating my blog. Really.

Wolfed down home-made quesadillas.

Picked peaches and hand-fed an alpaca at Huber's Farm.

Wore jeans to work for an entire month.

Attended my own "temporarily-going-away" party hosted by my colleague.

Learned that "one and one is two".

What a wonderful spring. :)

Uh Oh

I deserve to be spanked.

How long have I not updated my blog?? One month and 13 days.

*embarrassed face*

I should not be allowed to re-enter my blog.

Blog entries should start disappearing one by one.

My spelling will slowly detirioraite from now on.

Will not be able. To write. In complete sentences.

Pun)ctuation: will? go, d'own the! drain(

Present and past tenses? What were that?

Forget sentence proper structures will I.

In fact, ingleese is don't I kno!w not.