Philosophical Questions

Philosophical question:

Which is worse? Having too many expectations? Or having none at all?

I think expectations are a scary thing.

What I've never had, I won't yearn for. What I've never done, I won't miss. But once something happens, maybe a few times or maybe just once, I'll learn to expect it.

And when it doesn't happen again, it'll throw me off. I'll get restless and impatient. Waiting for it to happen soon, and for as long as it doesn't, it'll affect my mood.

But when it does, it'll make me happy all day.

So my mood yo-yos from one end to the other end all the time. Which is fun when it's on the high end, not so fun when it's on the low side.

Which brings me to philosophical question 2:

Would you rather.. be ecstatically happy one week but feel down the next? Or feel neutral all the time?

I would definitely pick the first one. No doubt about it.

Yeah, feeling down is not fun. But the week where I'm ecstatically happy more than makes up for it.

I have mood swings. That's an established fact since a million years ago.

So there are times when I feel really really really happy. When I can't stop smiling and I just feel like telling everyone that I'm very happy. But why am I happy? Sometimes I don't even know. I just am. :D

Then sometimes I will feel a bit blue. For no particular reason at all too. Cause personally, I don't think anything bad really happens to me that often. It's not like I'm sad, just feels a bit off. A bit detached from the world. Don't feel like talking to people as much. I want to be alone but I also want to tell someone about it.

But I know soon enough, I will hit the "ecstatic phase" again. And then everything will be fine once more.

Beautiful Days

It's the first day of spring!!!

The weather is very nice nowadays (yes I know it's not as nice as Miami.. people who are in Miami right now are not allowed to leave comments about the nice-ness of Miami's weather). About 17-23 degrees Celcius.

Perfect weather outdoors.. not so perfect indoors. It's quite warm in my office. I think they are fixing the air-conditioning or something. If only I have a laptop... I would go work in the park. It's so nice to get out of the office and feel the breeze. Ahhhhh. Yes, I know not as nice as Miami. I said no comments!

Nothing much to write about recently. Life is mainly about work, work and more work. Well... that and learning Spanish, chatting with friends, catching up on Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy (which is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G btw), and going to my friend's house for dinner and pool on Saturday.

Oh, and did I say that I went to pilates class last Monday? :D First time since I got my gym membership in January. Yep, I paid for 2 months without going once. Didn't even step into the gym until last Monday. I paid $90 just to go to that one class. Have to go more often already. Since the weather is getting better, I have no excuse not to walk outside anymore.

I wish they had more fun classes though.. like Stripperobics! My colleague said her gym had that class.. wouldn't that be fun? I mean err.. interesting. I'm err.. guessing that it would be a good workout?? Not that I would know much about what strippers do. *innocent look*

Spanish 101

Phrases I learnt so far using the Rosetta Stone software:

• El carro es rojo. (The car is red.)
• La niña está corriendo. (The girl is running.)
• El hombre viejo tiene pelo blanco. (The old man has white hair.)
• Un caballo (a horse)

Uh huh right. These will be so incredibly helpful if I ever get stuck alone in Latin America.

On the other hand... phrases I learnt from my colleagues:

• Buenas dias (Good morning)
• Deseo... (I desire...) as in Deseo un hombre (I desire a guy. Kekekeke.)
• Lo siento (I am sorry)
• De nada (You're welcome)
• Socorro! (Help!)
• Yo no sé (I don't know)

And the most important phrase of all...

Quiero una cerveza por favor?

Which.. after saying it 3-4 more times.. would likely lead to..

Dime un beso? ;)

当局者迷

我想我是想念你了。

不见你一两天，心情开始有点郁闷。

是什么原因让我想念你呢？

是我真的喜欢你吗？

还是因为我认识的人不多，又和你谈得来，所以特别想和你出去玩？

有点混乱。

到底喜欢不喜欢你呢？

是纯粹想要有个人依靠？

是因为一起玩时我很开心？

是因为难得在这里找到一个和我谈得来的朋友？

还是真的喜欢你？

又有谁可以说清什么原因就是喜欢，什么原因只是寂寞。

有时候会喜欢上一个人，是环境促成的。

在我心情最低落时，你刚好给了我依靠的感觉。

在我想出去玩却不知道找谁时，你刚好约我一起出去。

我随口提起一个我一直想去却从来没机会去的地方， 你第二天带我去了。

你陪我聊天，逗我玩。

所以慢慢地越来越想着你。

曾经说不能怕受伤害，可是终究是不敢的。

所以我把感觉藏起来，因为不想听到不想听的答案。

但是我想就算我把感觉藏起来，你看得出的。

至少我觉得身边的人看得出。

或许当局者迷吧，可是我猜不透你在想什么。

你喜欢不喜欢我呢？还是只把我当成好朋友而已？

不想问，可是暧昧太久，我开始心急了。

我是要走一步看一步的。

但愿我的耐力能够坚持下去。

Busy Bee

I've been busy!

Worked last weekend... again. Had a deadline on Monday, so once again here I am in the office trying to finish it up on time. I have to work on this meeting deadline thing... I'm sure working long hours cuts down my life span somehow.

So I'm in desperate need of a weekend. Since February it's been "work 12 days, rest 2 days, work another 12 days, rinse and repeat". Luckily I don't have to worry about exams for a while. At least not until early April.

The good thing is.. I get overtime pay! So I got an ipod Nano to reward myself. Love it so much. Yeah yeah, I know I have been saying I won't get an ipod. But err.. needed mp3 player mah. And if use phone as mp3 player, will use up battery very quickly. Keke. I got the red color one. It's pretty. Everyone who doesn't have one... go get one now!!!

Last Saturday I went to my colleague's house to play poker. I won some moo-lah! :) Got some pretty good cards for my last few hands. So yup, just about covered my meals for the week.

Oh I'm learning Spanish now! Cause you know, just in case I meet a Spanish hunk, I've got to make sure I know what he means when he asks me out on a date. Keke, just kidding. I'm learning Spanish because it's useful. Uh huh, that's right. Spanish hunk possibility was not a consideration.

I bought a learning package from Rosetta Stone. Spanish Level 1. And we started a "language corner" in the 6 cubicles around me. Everyday we post up a piece of paper on the wall with 3 phrases. One in basic Spanish, one in basic Chinese (complete with pinyin) and one for English slang. I think I learned more from those pieces of paper than from Rosetta Stone. But that's probably because I've only done 2 lessons.

But then didn't have time to do more lessons because... I've been busy mah.

So yeah, the moral of this blog entry is... I've been busy. But hopefully not crazy busy for too long!

Pool Night

I want to play pool!!! Pronto!!!

A bunch of us went to play pool last night. My colleague recommended this place called Oliver's Billiards. Seriously cheap. $1/hour for each person. It was very smoky, though. Then again, most of the pool places are smoky.

Haven't played in almost half a year. Love the game, still can't play consistently though. For some reason, I just can't seem to get straight shots. Sometimes I can do really hard shots, like when I have to "super-slice" the ball. Remember how I got the black ball in at Olmsted, Jack? Hehe, I remember someone saying he'll "pai" if I got it in wer. :P Left-hander team rocks!

While playing last night, I suddenly recalled someone teaching me how to play pool a few years back. I remember how patient you were. How you made me do the same shot over and over again until I got it in at least twice. How you wouldn't let me give up. I remember when it was my turn, you would watch me shoot to make sure I got the right angle. You would pay attention to me and not at the other tables. I hope someday we'll have a chance to play again.

Oops, went a bit off track and nostalgic there. So yeah, now I have this craving to play again. Have to bug people to go play with me soon.

________________________________________________________

刚读了几片张小娴写的短文，是表姐寄给我的。

其中有一篇正好说出了我的感受。

我发现我留了一些他的习惯。

这并不出奇我知道。

会玩Poker是他教我的。

喜欢打Pool是让他培养出来的。不过上面提到的人不是他。我说让他培养，但不是他教得最好的。

爱听的音乐种类是被他影响的。

我从曾经在我生命中路过的人学来很多生活习惯、爱好。

为何偏爱喝Vodka？因为一个曾经认识的男孩。

为何偏爱喝Vodka掺Cranberry？因为一个失去联络的朋友。

为何喜欢读张小娴的短文？因为一个中学时代的华文老师。

也从曾经在我生命中路过的人，知道什么习惯、作风我是永远也不想有的。

爱情变质了，决不要拖拖拉拉。把自己藏在房里，搞得颓废不堪，又能如何？

还没尝试就先放弃、做不到不会好好检讨还要怨别人，对不起，我要说一句：看不起！

你进了我的世界，到底会留下什么样的脚印？

我拭目以待。

My weekend story

No updates since last Thursday. Evidently I'm getting lazy at this blogging thing.

Let's see... things I planned to do for the weekend. Celebrate. Did that. Go out and have fun. Also done. Do stuff that I can't write on my blog. Yep, did that too.

Last Friday, we went to Sully's (a bar) on Fourth Street Live! It was man-market night. Yes, you read that correctly. It's MAN market. Meaning there are (desperate) guys walking around in the bar with number tags. And if a girl/guy finds them scrumptious enough, he's sold. I wonder if he gets to say no to his buyer or not. Think there's a return policy?

The auctioneer was pulling guys up onstage every now and then to err.. promote the latest "offering". Truthfully, most were big "No"s. This guy was walking around in an orange suit! Wah, that one seriously cannot tahan. But hor, there was one very cute guy loh. Really very cute. I don't want to describe, but believe me, he was cute. The I-will-definitely-break-your-heart kind of cute. Too bad he didn't have a number tag though. :P

Guys are seriously unfair. All this while I've been going to bars and listening to their millions of comments on the ladies there. Lots of pretty girls here by the way. Cute guys not so much. Darn. So finally FINALLY I see one boleh tahan one hor, and I make one tiny comment saying "that guy over there is quite cute". And I get my taste proclaimed terrible, my eyesight doubted, and some eye-rolling action. Unfair or not?

So anyway, conclusion is I didn't bid for anyone in the man market.

Last Saturday I went to my colleagues' house for the poker tournament. Lost. Flat out lost. So much for my previous 2 winnings huh. Didn't have any good hands. And didn't dare to bluff. Was fun though. Their house is soooooooo nice. Next time I want to have a house like that too. With a dog, too.

It was snowing a little that night when we left their house. The roads were pretty icy. And guess what.. we got stuck on the road. There was a pretty bad accident (we found out later on) so the road was basically blocked. Didn't move an inch at all. For TWO hours. TWO hours!Really not moving. We could have turned off the engine and it wouldn't make a difference. Except we would freeze to death maybe. Crazy betul, 20 minute drive became 2 hours plus.

For the first 15 minutes when we were stuck, we watched the cars drive by on the opposite side. Some people here are crazy! These people were zooming past as though the roads were perfectly dry. We saw at least 5 cars spin, some hit the railing too. Since noone got hurt, it was quite interesting to watch.

Yes yes, I know we didn't get nearly half as much snow as Des Moines. Don't brag.