Silent Reflections in O'Hare

WARNING: The following paragraphs are a series of unrelated and possibly incoherent thoughts, connected only by the fact that they came one after another during a 2 1/2 hour wait for my delayed flight this afternoon.

Sometimes I wonder what people think of me when they read my blog. This holds especially for people who are complete strangers or who have not been in touch with me for a long long time. Do you see a girl who's enjoying or suffering through her emotional rollercoaster ride? Do you see a girl who's choking over all her choices or revelling in them? Do you imagine a girl who's so unsure of herself that she has to keep asking people what they think? Or do you see a girl who's notoriously bad at ending her stories? So much so that I'm not gonna finish the Hawk story. :P Well no, that's not the real reason. Not the point here anyway.

In all the infrequent occasions when I blog, I rarely mention my internship, my school life or even my daily life in general. You may know that I love using metaphors, but do you know what my major is or what I do on weekends? Probably not.

I realize I act and talk differently with different groups of people. This is not the so-called 'adapting to the environment' kind of thing. More like I hide who I really am and become this quiet, softspoken, serious person. I don't know where that person came from, but I've seen her. And it's not just at places where everyone else is being polite and serious too. I wish it didn't take me soooooooooooo much time before I get used to people and be who I really am.

I've met a lot of great people. People who I really really want to get to know well, and yet there seems to be a barrier between us. Most of the time I think this barrier is my own reluctance to open up, but how do I break it down? I want to be good friends with you, but you have to make the first move. Please.

I went to Chicago yesterday afternoon and returned to Des Moines tonight. We played whirlyball, defined by someone as 'bumper car meets basketball meets lacrosse'. Btw, any M'sians out there know what 'Lai Lai' is? It's similar to lacrosse and supposedly a very popular sport in M'sia. Why have I NEVER heard of it??

Whirlyball was so fun!! My neck is a little sore though, now it hurts when I twist it to the left. I kept getting jolted and bumped from behind by people with fast cars. A few times I was pretty sure I was this close to breaking my neck. Hehe. Luckily, I learned to look around every 5 seconds to make sure noone's planning another ambush. It was great fun though. :D

Btw, I met Daniel Radcliffe today. Name sounds familiar? It's the guy who played Harry Potter! Haha, he looked like Doraemon's friend though. I think his name is Nobita. And I told Daniel so.